Consequences
by scifiromance
Summary: What if Admiral Janeway had decided to change the timeline to get Chakotay for herself in "Endgame"? This fic involves J/C but is NOT pro-J/C. Eventually C/7! YAY!
1. The Course of Timelines and Love

**A/n: As I said in the description this fic does involve the J/C pairing but DON'T read this if you like them together! It will eventually be C/7 but will be **_**very**_** dark and angst ridden throughout**. **The Captain may or may not be OOC depending on your personal view of her; Admiral Janeway will certainly be on the bitchy and embittered side. This first chapter is set during Endgame but for the purposes of this fic Chakotay and Seven are only on their first date when the Admiral arrives rather than their fourth. I hope you enjoy and review.**

Seven was so nervous when she headed towards the Mess Hall that night that her legs were shaking and her fists were clenched tightly against her sides. As the large double doors slid obligingly open to welcome her inside and she was forcibly made aware of the crowds of people within, her resolve to continue momentarily abandoned her and she was overwhelmed with the urge to turn and run but thankfully her Borg influenced mind saw the absurdity of such a course of action. What am I thinking of? It's just Commander Chakotay I'm meeting, there is nothing threatening in that, my nerves are unnecessary and irrelevant. Even as this line of reasoning calmed her, she still had to allow herself to take a deep breath before finally taking the plunge and stepping completely into the room. Anxiously her eyes scanned the myriad of animated faces before finally finding his, sitting at a distant table directly facing the door. Their eyes met at that instant and a wide, warm smile immediately lit his features. Unconsciously Seven returned the smile as her fears melted away as quickly as they had formed. Discreetly weaving through the crowd she reached the table and he, still mildly stunned from being the recipient of such a smile from her, rose hurriedly to greet her. "Hi…" He managed to choke out before his voice utterly stalled. Hi? You finally get her in a social setting after weeks of mulling it over and all you can say is hi? His rational mind cursed him.

Seven's lips parted to reply but no words came for several seconds. Finally, "Good evening…Commander."

"Call me Chakotay, please?" He told her.

She nodded silently, studying the table to keep her eyes off him, only to see that it was already perfectly set out. "Am I late?" she asked worriedly.

"Not at all. I was early." He replied, waiting for her to sit down before joining her. They didn't even get past mumbled pleasantries before Neelix made a beeline for the table and took their orders, but this break wasn't long enough for either of them to decide on a topic of conversation and halfway through their starter barely a word had passed between them and Chakotay's stomach was beginning to tie itself in ever tighter knots as the silence lengthened. "Is something wrong Seven?" he asked carefully, but was unable to keep the note of fretfulness from his voice.

"No!" Seven exclaimed, before blushing deeply and lowering her head. "It's just that I've never been…in this situation before, I am…unsure as how to proceed."

Chakotay swallowed his mouthful of food and watched her for a minute before responding, "You mean, alone…with a man?"

She nodded. "Correct." Not exactly true if her date with Lieutenant Chapman was recalled, but she didn't have any reason to consider that good experience.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I haven't done this sort of thing…for a long time. As you can probably tell, I'm seriously out of practice."

For some reason this comment triggered Seven's long dormant sense of humour. "You can revise while I learn."

Chakotay's eyes sparkled as he responded in the same teasing tone, "Is there a test at the end of the course miss?"

Seven giggled, a _very _unusual event but it entirely succeeded in breaking the ice and from then on deep conversation and humour flowed between in a torrent. "…and my father dragged me to South America in my teens, not a very popular trip because I'd just got a scholarship to Starfleet Academy…"

"Did you see the Mayan ruins at Yucatan or the Incan examples in Machu Picchu?" Seven asked in interest.

"Both. I'd love to see them again, they were spectacular. I should've paid more attention…"

"Don't worry; I believe all adolescents have different priorities." She comforted, hearing the note of regret in his voice.

He smiled at her, pleasantly surprised by her perceptiveness. "I know. You should come with me next time…"

The unmistakable sound of the Captain's voice through the comm. system cut him off. "All senior officers report to the bridge immediately."

Chakotay irritably set down his cutlery. "Typical!" he muttered to his companion as they both rose. As they made their way out of the room the curious eyes to the remaining crew fixated on them and Chakotay whispered in Seven's ear, "Next time we'll choose a more private place."

Seven's face warmed with pleasure as she nodded. "I concur." They made their way to the Bridge together but were confronted with an astonishing scene as they left the turbolift, a much older, silver haired, version of Kathryn Janeway staring out of the viewscreen and giving her younger self a piece of her mind. The couple fought to remain composed and resisted the urge to look to the other for reassurance as they same anxious thought passed through their heads almost simultaneously, this can't be good.

"I don't know why you're here, I _don't_ want to know. Even talking to you breaks the Temporal Prime Directive, let alone following your plan…" Admiral Janeway fought the urge to snort at her younger version striding fretfully at her side, had she really once been so staid, so duty bound? It was a wonder she'd got Voyager home at all… "And anyway…" the younger Kathryn continued, "…your future doesn't sound too bad, we get back to Earth don't we?"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" The Admiral snapped, walking faster, wishing she could just take the place of this…Starfleet demagogue and run the ship herself. "As for the Temporal Prime Directive, to hell with it!" The Captain inhaled sharply and looked ready to abandon the conversation but the Admiral stopped her in her tracks with a low toned revelation, "Seven of Nine's going to die."

The Captain stared at her in horrified shock. "What? How?"

"What about your precious Temporal Prime Directive?" She reminded her snidely.

"To hell with it!" Snarled the Captain, unconsciously mimicking the words of her other self.

The Admiral sighed. "Three years from now Seven will be mortally injured on an away mission and die in the arms of her husband."

"Husband?" The Captain echoed in incredulous disbelief.

"Chakotay. He was never the same after Seven's death." Those few words created the exact reaction she had expected, angered disbelief crossed her features but jealousy dominated before her face composed itself. The Admiral would have known all this without seeing her face, it was what she had experienced when the love-struck couple had told her themselves, little did her past self know those feelings would eventually harden into embittered betrayal of the worse sort, if she didn't do something to change all that of course. Diplomatically she moved on, "And then there's Tuvok…"

"What _about_ Tuvok?" asked the Captain in an irritable, strained voice.

"He has a degenerative brain disorder he hasn't told you of yet. It can only be cured by a member of his family, on Vulcan." The Captain remained silent, biting her lips in denial but the Admiral had to hide a smile of triumph, she had won the argument.

Admiral Janeway almost kicked the wall of the turbolift in frustration as she descended down to Cargo Bay 2. Just when victory was within reach, her own past self had to be all morally superior and sacrificial. Hadn't she learned anything from the incident with the Ocampans and the Caretaker that had started this whole thing! God! Now she only had one route left… As she walked into the Cargo Bay she saw Seven leaning over her console before acknowledging her presence with a nervous "Admiral."

She got straight to the point. "Seven, I want you to tell the Captain that collapsing the transwarp hub is too dangerous, that it would destroy Voyager and that using it to return to the Alpha Quadrant is the only feasible option."

Seven looked at her coolly. "That would be a lie. I am confident in our plan's effectiveness."

"Seven, believe me, I'm asking this for your own good. If you remain here you'll die within three years."

Seven winced painfully and remained voiceless for several seconds. "I am irrelevant and inconsequential, destroying the hub would free billions from the Borg."

"Seven, for God's sake! Don't let your guilt blind you…"

"That is my concern!" she snapped. "The Captain is my commanding officer, I won't disobey her." She stated robotically.

The Admiral knew that implacably stubborn look, only Chakotay had ever had any power over that, Chakotay… Suddenly a devious solution formed in her head. "If you won't do it for yourself, then do it for Chakotay."

If it was possible Seven's complexion drained even paler than when she heard of her own death. "Chakotay?" she asked in a whisper, her voice shaking and weak, almost tearful.

"Yes…" She only paused in committing the betrayal of both her protégé and the man she claimed to love for a millisecond, "My husband." She pronounced confidently. To Seven's credit she looked shocked for only a moment before it was replaced with a despairingly lifeless look of resignation, as different from the Captain's reaction as was humanly possible. "You wouldn't deny me the chance to save _him_ would you Seven?" she asked with snide cruelty.

Seven stared at the floor miserably. "No Admiral…of course not… I will do as you ask."

"Good." She replied coldly turning on her heel and leaving. You're only doing it for him, you traitorous slut! She raged as she headed back to the turbolift, only to crash headlong into Chakotay. Her gaze softened indulgently as it fell on him but he only noticed the angry flush in her cheeks. "Chakotay? What are you doing here?" she asked sharply.

"Doesn't matter." He responded but she knew the real answer. To see Seven. Unnerved by the flash in her eyes he grabbed her arms, staring into her face with that dark penetrating gaze. "What are you doing here Kathryn?"

"To help." She sidestepped.

"There's always more to it than that Kathryn." He responded heavily.

Hurt and outraged by his distrust, the Admiral practically spat out the words that would be the final nail in the coffin for certain events in her timeline, "To save you! My husband!" He dropped her arm like a dead weight and she fled without looking at his reaction which would have left much for her to desire. He sank into the wall, just when everything seemed so clear, when he was sure of what he wanted… How had it happened? He'd given up on that, years ago… His eyes went to the Cargo Bay door, what had happened with Seven? Suddenly he longed to speak to her but knew he couldn't, not when he knew now that Kathryn would ultimately take her place, it would just hurt them both…

Captain Janeway followed the Admiral into the shuttle, the one she was planning to distract the Collective with while Voyager made its escape. The plan was all set but something still bothered her… Staring into her older self's back she asked suspiciously, "How did you convince Seven to change her tune?"

Unexpectedly the Admiral gave a brittle laugh. "So you knew all along did you?" The Captain glared at her and she sighed, "I told her Chakotay died and I told both of them that _we _ were married, separately of course."

The Captain baulked, "How could you do that? You lied to them!" she cried.

"Why wouldn't I do that? And you'd better take advantage of it because if Seven gets her claws into him you won't get another opportunity, even if she dies." Bitterly she recalled trying to reclaim Chakotay about a year after Seven's death, he hadn't even said anything, just stared at her in silent pity before abandoning her where she stood… The needles of rejection prickled her. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth Captain. Now get off my shuttle." In silence the Captain stepped back into the shuttle bay, a cold blanket of doubt wrapped round her.

The Captain stared at her console, turned on for her log and took another gulp of champagne as she gazed out at Alpha Quadrant stars and vented, " Seven and Chakotay married! Part of me thinks that she has no right to lie to them but it's wrong that Seven have him now that we're heading home! Chakotay with _her_, the Borg? How the hell did I ever let that happen, I should at least give it a chance, I obviously regretted it in the future…" Her doorbell rang and she hurriedly shut off the log. "Come in."

Chakotay strode in and stopped in front of her, his expression dark and unreadable. "So, us, married?" He sounded slurred, even more drunk than her.

Here's your chance to retract it all, the rational side of her brain cried but as she looked up at him that need to possess, to win, overwhelmed her. "Yes, I suppose so."

"And how…do you…think that happened after all this time?" He asked in a slow whisper.

She rose, their bodies brushing before she leaned over and gave him a long kiss which he responded to lethargically. "Does it matter?" she murmured as she pulled back. He said nothing, his face revealing nothing but when she kissed him again they coiled together in violent, explosive passion.

Chakotay rolled over in bed to see Kathryn standing by the window, staring out blankly. "What's wrong Kathryn?" he asked. She smirked bitterly and sighed, guilt lingering, as she turned to him her eyes were hard and dark as stone, a stranger's eyes. Abruptly icy fingers of foreboding gripped his heart, along with a strange thought, I don't know if she'd like to see Machu Picchu… He shook his head to rid himself of the out of place, hung-over thought as she smiled at him slightly and climbed into bed.

"I'll forget about it." She muttered dismissively.

**A/n: Don't hate me, I have a plan! Please review!**


	2. Loyalties

"Miss Hansen…" The Starfleet Intelligence officer again tried to draw out his subject, his tone silky smooth but Seven could hear the ruthless steel behind that thin veil.

"Seven." She corrected. "As I told you in our previous meetings Commander that is my preferred designation."

The silver haired Commodore sitting in shadow at the other side of the room, allowed his lips to twitch upwards, he always enjoyed Intelligence men getting their ego bubbles burst, "Go ahead Billings, six fully funded debriefings and you don't know her name?"

Billings flushed. "Yes, sir." He glowered viciously at Seven before snatching up a pad and slamming it down on the table in front of her so violently that she couldn't suppress a jump. "Read that and tell me what it is." He ordered.

Seven fought the instinctive urge to refuse and lifted the pad, scan reading it quickly. A sigh of nervous foreboding shook her chest as she placed the pad back down. "It is Voyager's plan to destroy the transwarp hub." She coolly confirmed what she knew he already knew.

Billings gave her a crooked smile. "That it is, now as the main designer and the person who called it off…tell me why you suddenly couldn't go through with it."

"It wouldn't have worked." She replied quietly, though her voice had a guilty quaver in it which a perceptive Billings picked up on.

"Come now, you know that's not true, you wouldn't have submitted this to Janeway if you weren't sure it would collapse the hub. Our scientists, admittedly much less gifted than you, have told us it almost certainly would have worked, only a 3.5% probability of failure. Why did you change your mind? Isn't the opportunity to rid the galaxy of the Borg's main artery worth a 3.5% risk?"

Seven bristled. "Yes, of course! I would be worth much greater levels of risk."

"Then why did you back out?" He almost yelled, so eager was he to get to the point.

Seven bit her lip, she had been dreading this question because unlike her many other justifications this one was based only on emotion, not reason, and she doubted these two men believed in her emotional capabilities, she wasn't sure if _anyone_ did anymore or ever had. "I…" To say that I did it because the Captain told me of Chakotay's death and my own would be laughable to them, selfish. To say that the Admiral blackmailed me… She stopped mid thought, not liking the disloyal turn her mind was taking. The Admiral had every right to do all she could to save her husband, I most likely would have done the same… "The transwarp conduit was Voyager's only immediate route home, collapsing the hub would have endangered the ship and destroyed the route to the Alpha Quadrant. We…the crew decided to return home…" Her voice hardened and she looked defiantly up at Billings, "As is their right after seven years don't you think? To put themselves first just once?"

"You don't seem to include yourself in that statement, Earth, the Federation, that isn't home for you. The Collective _is_. You saved the only home you've known!"

Seven's eyes flashed. "The Collective isn't a home, it is a mental cage! _I_ didn't exist, a single drone among billions and that drone did terrible things…" She turned away from his icy eyes and focused on the Commodore. "My life was stolen, as is every assimilated person, my only wish is to reclaim enough of it to life peacefully and productively."

Billings snorted in contempt but the Commodore intervened, "Leave us please Commander."

"But sir, we _know_ she's a security risk…" Billings began angrily but his senior officer's glare sent him packing.

Seven then felt his eyes on her for several seconds, feeling her skin start to crawl, for somewhere deep inside she knew Billings with all his hot air, was considerably less dangerous than the man now assessing her. Finally he spoke, though what he said surprised her, "There's a post open at Stellar Cartography in Starfleet Science, nothing there that you can leak that the Borg don't already know I'm sure. Take it as a form of probation, a sign of the faith we have in you to be an asset rather than a threat."

An asset or a threat… The words rattled around her brain, so that was how it was going to be. Still, what else could she expect? She was…or had once been Borg, the greatest threat the Federation knew of… "Yes Commodore I'm sure that department could benefit from my expertise, any post would be gratefully received."

He nodded slowly, his eyes narrow. "Good. I'll give you the details at Janeway's promotion party tonight shall I?"

Seven swallowed back her indignant anger, were they to follow her wherever she went? "I'll be in attendance." She replied in a strained tone before acknowledging his wave of dismissal and leaving the room as fast as composure would allow.

The place to which she returned was nothing but another type of cell, a rather downtrodden apartment backing on to San Francisco's power station, appropriate for wiring in her alcove but little else. An optimistic Seven had hoped she could alter it to resemble the quarters she'd created in the holodeck but a month after Voyager's return she still had much to do to make it much better than the Cargo Bay she'd left. Rolling through her choice of outfits to replicate for the Captain, no, the Admiral's party tonight. Unluckily her eyes fell on _that _ red dress and for an instant pain stabbed her heart before she forcibly dismissed it. A fantasy, nothing more. He has the Admiral, he'd always had the Admiral, it had been wishful thinking to think otherwise. He deserved human love, just as he gave, not an inferior Borg imitation.

Chakotay shook out his shirt sleeves and picked up his cufflinks and tie before heading to the bathroom mirror. As he fitted the tie under his shirt collar he heard his front door click open by key code and the soft thump of shoes on the carpet. "Kathryn? I thought I was going to pick you up?"

"I was ready." She replied as she appeared at the bathroom door. In the mirror he saw her smile change to a frown at the sight of him. "You're not wearing your uniform?" she asked with sharp archness.

"Kathryn my commission was never approved by Starfleet, I'm a civilian now remember?" He reminded her, trying to keep his tone light as her frown deepened.

"For my promotion party I think they'd let you go back to old times!" Seeing him wince at her brittle tone she slid up to his side as he perfected his tie, playing with the gold braid of her formal uniform and looking coquettish. "Anyway, you could get any post you wanted now! A captaincy even!" She bristled when she heard him utter a dry chuckle. "If you'd just apply, I'd make sure they didn't hold the Maquis against you…"

Chakotay clipped in his final cufflink without looking at her. "I don't really care what they think, that's always been my problem and besides a civilian life isn't half bad, I could even get into Anthropology again…"

"Anthropology's all well and good Chakotay but as a career…" Kathryn began as she attempted to convince him in that harsh tone he knew so well.

"Don't panic Kathryn, it's only been a month, I haven't decided anything…" He saw her relax and tried not to be irritated and drawn into another argument. He gave her a peck, "Are you sure this isn't just your way of saying I don't look good in a suit?" he joked.

She just sighed. "We're already late, let's go."

"So Chakotay, what's it like accompanying an Admiral?" Tom asked loudly over the din, earning Chakotay knowing smiles throughout the crowded room of former crewmates.

"Very similar to accompanying a Captain I assure you." He replied, everyone smiled at him. Sometimes the knowing gleeful looks when he spoke of himself and Kathryn irritated him, as if they'd always been on some predetermined course and not two people who'd made a conscious decision…

Harry's voice pierced his thoughts. "There's Seven! Over here Seven!" he called.

"So she finally makes an appearance." B'Elanna muttered, surprised to earn a sharp frown from Chakotay as the former drone came quietly over but her appearance certainly made a statement in a figure hugging knee length, black shift dress.

"Good evening." She said quietly. "How is Miral Paris?" she asked politely of B'Elanna.

"Oh she's fine, at home with her grandma tonight…" B'Elanna began only to be cut off by a friend calling her. "I'm sorry Seven, we'll talk later?"

Seven nodded and suddenly found that she only had Chakotay beside her. Fighting the tight grip of awkwardness she accessed her mental catalogue of civilities, but before she could say again he spoke first, "How've you been Seven?" Anxiety edged his voice ever so slightly, "I haven't seen you for a while…"

The true answer flowed from her lips before she could stop herself. "I have been preoccupied with Starfleet Intelligence." She immediately regretted even this thin confidence but the concern had already formed on his face.

"I know what you mean; all the former Maquis had to go through it too, my debriefing, if you could call it that, lasted six hours if you can believe it…"

Seven gave him a saddened but wry smile, "Today I was with them for fourteen hours and I'd had six debriefings before that." She saw his shocked and horrified expression, "The Admiral didn't tell you?"

"No!" The word came out in an unexpected burst of hot anger but he quickly managed to recover his decorum when fellow guests stared at him. "That's illegal Seven, they shouldn't be harassing you, you're a Federation citizen…"

"And a former Borg drone. Do not be angered on my behalf, I expected this but things will improve and I'd rather that I suffer periodic discrimination than Icheb, thankfully they have left him alone."

Chakotay felt his fists clench, still deeply unsettled, "You don't _owe _them an explanation Seven." Her eyes shifted downwards and he gripped her arm, "Listen, you haven't done anything wrong as you are now, you're not a drone anymore and weren't in control of anything when you were okay?"

Seven kept her gaze on his hand gripping her arm as she mumbled a reply, "I know but…"

"Seven, you're here." Suddenly Janeway appeared at their side and Chakotay gently let Seven's arm fall to her side. Janeway stared at the now silent pair, who she'd observed in very animated conversation only a moment before, any guilt she had felt was washed away by jealousy and she suddenly wished she could trade her formal uniform, six gold pips and all for a dress that would take his eyes off Seven for a minute.

Seven was of course unaware of all this seething emotion under the civility of her mentor. "Congratulations on your promotion Admiral, it is very well deserved." Her smile was real, the response from Janeway poised but cool.

"Thank you Seven." She said stiffly before turning to Chakotay, "Admiral Ross has a proposition for you Chakotay, let's go speak to him shall we?"

"Kathryn, Seven has a problem…" He began to explain but Seven cut him off.

"No, it is irrelevant now. I hope both of you have a pleasant evening." She said, turning away hurriedly before they could press her anymore.

Chakotay looked after her frowning but Kathryn soon had his attention again. "Admiral Ross has a post going in Starfleet Headquarters which would be just perfect for you…" She was surprised when he turned around looking angry.

"You said Seven was doing fine Kathryn, Starfleet Intelligence is interrogating her!"

"Really Chakotay I wouldn't call it interrogation! She has so much knowledge which could help us and they just don't know her like we do… She knows all this and I've just heard Starfleet Science is giving her a job, now are you coming to see Ross?"

Chakotay shook his head to clear it, Kathryn's logical reasoning and Seven's own disregard for the situation setting in. He gave Kathryn's eager face a small smile. "Sure, let's go."

Seven meanwhile was sitting having a break from conversation at a table in the corner when she heard a man's voice, "May I join you Seven? May I call you Seven?" It was the Cardassian ambassador. Seven prided herself on being indifferent to a person's race but somehow being so close to a Cardassian made her tense.

"If you wish." She replied detachedly, watching as he sat uncomfortably close to her.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with your former Commander…" He started smoothly.

"Oh?" Seven felt her eyebrows shoot up her forehead.

He cleared his throat. "Yes well, I've been tasked by the Cardassian Imperial Government to tell you that we are always in need of someone with your…skills set. There would be no questions asked if you get my meaning…"

Seven snapped her head round to glare at him. "No Ambassador I don't "get your meaning" and even if I did I wouldn't take up your offer." She stood up abruptly, "Excuse me." She remarked icily and walked straight out of the party without saying goodbye to anyone, though several people noticed she looked pale.

The Ambassador sighed. "Give up on that on Babrin." He looked up to see Ixana, the Betazoid Ambassador beside him, "Her loyalties certainly don't incline her towards Cardassians."

Babrin laughed, "A Borg? Loyalties?"

"Yes and those of the strongest kind, romantic." Ixana persisted.

Babrin smiled lewdly. "The Maquis Commander?" Ixana nodded. "I thought as much." He mused, "Humans and their love triangles, no wonder they're the best at writing tragedies. "

**A/n: Please review! Is it still okay? I'm not very happy with this chapter… Please advise me!**


	3. Reprisals

**A/n: I'm really pleased people are actually reading this fic and asking for fast updates, thank you! I was worried no one would like this. Thanks to SweetDeath04, lisac1965, EMcKinney, DestinChild and MidnightVampireCharlotte for the reviews. WARNING: This chapter is the start of a very dark plotline, I warned you so don't hate me.**

"So Annika, how have your first three months on Earth treating you?" Irene Hansen put her hand over her eyes to block out the August sun of California and get a proper look at hr niece's expression while they sat eating lunch on the terrace of a central San Francisco café.

Seven shifted the parasol above them to provide more shade, Irene smiling at her thoughtfulness. "It is proceeding much as I had anticipated; my new place of employment is proving…" She paused, trying to think of a truth word which wouldn't worry her aunt, "…productive." She finished, not a lie but it would have been a serious stretch to call correcting old star charts and cataloguing them interesting or enjoyable. She changed the topic smoothly, "Is retirement fulfilling your expectations?"

Irene beamed in confirmation. "Oh exceeding them dear! The house is lovely, within a ten minute walk of the beach, not that the Baltic coast is a sunbathers paradise like here but it's very scenic and the village is so nice and tranquil, I haven't missed Stockholm at all."

"It sounds like a very pleasant environment…" Seven replied wistfully. Catching her aunt's concerned look, she explained, "It's not that I'm unhappy here Aunt Irene…" Her expression became sheepish, "…it's just so very…crowded and…" She stopped, unable to articulate the feelings of unease and difference that gripped her sometimes when she walked these streets.

Irene smiled with gentle sympathy and gave her hand a quick squeeze. "Well you can come and stay with me _whenever_ you want, for a break or any reason at all… I can get a little lonely with your cousins spread out through the quadrant."

Seven was surprised at the gratitude which flowed through her at the suggestion, she was glad she'd given her father's sister a chance, in truth she'd been the only person on this planet, maybe even in her life to welcome her so immediately with open arms. "I'd like that very much Aunt Irene, thank you."

Irene waved her thanks away, "If I can't have my only niece in my home then what good is it? Still, you don't have to limit your travel to seeing me, you've got the whole world to see and you haven't left this city's boundaries yet!"

"Well, I'll perhaps wait until I'm more settled. Can you recommend somewhere in particular?"

Irene laughed. "Oh Annika, everywhere has its boasts! Didn't anywhere pique your interest while you were on Voyager?"

Relaxed now, Seven didn't need to pause to consider. "I'd like to go to South America. Commander Chakotay says parts of it are very like Ledosia, I told you about that didn't I?" Irene nodded, pleased and intrigued by how her niece's eyes had suddenly lit up, her stoic face bright with life. "And I believe the architecture of the ancient ruins there would make an interesting study…"

Irene lifted her cup of herbal tea to her lips, silvery blonde eyebrows raised ever so slightly. "A man with knowledge of the South American jungle? He sounds interesting…and adventurous…"

Seven gulped hurriedly, realising she had perhaps sounded _too i_nterested she lifted her own cup to hide her light blush. "The…the Doctor also told me that Italy is wonderful, for music and opera in particular…"

"Yes…" Irene said slowly, wondering for a second whether to let the previous more interesting subject drop, before deciding to let Annika dictate. "My daughter-in law Lotta, Jakob's wife, she's an amateur opera singer and she loves Italy…" Seven allowed herself a small sigh of relief as her aunt happily moved to easier topics.

Some hours after Seven and Irene had parted ways Chakotay made his way up to Kathryn's apartment in an exceptionally good mood, apparently from what Kathryn had said she also had good news but he doubted very much that it could beat his. As he rang her doorbell he looked out of the corridor's window which looked straight out onto the garden of Starfleet Headquarters where Kathryn now worked. Privately he hoped that if they moved in together this apartment would be the one given up, it was little too close to Starfleet in his opinion to offer much of a retreat, his own by the bay was much more relaxed, if less well appointed… His thoughts were interrupted by Kathryn arrival at the door in an apron, a beaming, and triumphant smile on her face but all he could do was smirk slightly, hadn't she learned that it wasn't just the replicator on Voyager that hated her but every cooking tool in existence? "Hi!" she greeted him enthusiastically with a kiss and let him step inside.

"Hi…" He replied, "You're cooking?"

"Yes! I'm in a great mood!" They headed together into the living/dining area where plates were already set. "Now, hurry up and tell me your news so I can get mine off my chest!"

He sat down as she served up slightly tough looking chicken with an unidentifiable sauce. "Okay, if I have to go first…" He paused for dramatic effect.

Kathryn uncorked a bottle of red wine and began pouring it into their glasses. "Well, go on!" she urged impatiently.

Chakotay felt his smile widen, "I got a job offer!" It took him a few seconds to register that her reaction was not what he had expected.

She stared at him; the bottle paused just off the rim of the glass, a red spill strain spreading rapidly over the stark white tablecloth. "A job offer?" she echoed, sounding less than enthusiastic.

"Yes, a lecturing position with Lima University, they're very interested in my father's research and all the anthropological discoveries we made in the Delta Quadrant. It would involve frequent expeditions into the jungle to look at ruins and a lot of study into the Incas… The new semester starts in six weeks so…"

"Wait a minute!" Kathryn cried out abruptly. "You practically jump at that attaché job that Admiral Ross offered you and now you suddenly want to go digging round Peru?"

Chakotay frowned at her, his good mood drowned by her sharpness. "I didn't _jump _at his offer; I only said I'd think about it."

Kathryn snorted. "Well, it's a little late for that now! You've got it! Ross told me himself this morning and I told him you'd be glad to take it…"

Chakotay's mouth dropped opened. "You accepted an offer on my behalf without even asking me?"

Kathryn gaped at him, her eyes darkening in disbelief and anger. "It's a diplomatic post, right in the heart of Starfleet Headquarters, how can you just dismiss it? You have no idea how much I had to twist their arms to get them to see past the fact that you haven't recanted your Maquis views…"

"Recanted my Maquis views? How can they…" He glared at her. "How could you tell them that I would? You know me better than that! I regret the bloodshed, but I feel the same as I always have…" He snatched up his bag and went silently towards the door before he said something he might regret.

Kathryn followed him into the hallway, still clutching the bottle of wine, anger now changing to desperation. "Where are you going?" she asked shrilly.

"I'm going home." He replied coolly.

"Oh for God's sake Chakotay! I shouldn't have said that about the Maquis, I know that but can't we just talk about this like civilised people?" She responded hotly, her tone was irritated rather than apologetic.

Chakotay ran a strained hand through his hair. "Look Kathryn, let's just give yourselves time to cool down tonight okay?" She remained silently, watching him go out the door before glancing at her ruined meal and swearing under her breath.

2150 hours… The time passed through Seven's head as she bent over the maps covered in additions spread out over her tiny desk, utterly unaware that her former senior officers' tête-à-tête had just gone so badly wrong as she yawned tiredly and gazed out into the rapidly darkening evening. If she didn't start back to her apartment soon she'd be walking home in the dark… With a sigh she packed her new briefcase and locked up her office, giving the late night security guard a quick nod, receiving a cool glare in return, as she stepped out into the street just as a summer thunderstorm released its torrent. Making a quick decision as rain soaked her clothes; she turned to take the short cut around the back of Starfleet Academy, setting off down the unlit back alley at a run.

The rain stopped within ten minutes so she slowed to a quieter pace, halting momentarily to fix her drenched hair back into its clip when a male voice echoed from behind a large dumpster. "Miss?"

Seven wheeled around sharply but relaxed when she saw it was a young cadet. "Yes?"

"Can you tell me where the nearest hospital is?" He asked in a low tone.

Seven frowned; surely a Starfleet cadet should know that? "San Francisco Memorial Hospital is 2.5 kilometres east and Starfleet Medical is 5 kilometres north. Do you require assistance?"

He smirked in the shadow. "No…but you will."

Seven tensed, ready to bolt. "Excuse me?" she asked, trying to keep the fear from her voice. All he did in reply was step fully into her line of sight, the gleam of a knife now visible.

Seven jumped backwards, dropping her briefcase onto the wet pavement with a clatter but instantly felt the constriction of a strong arm painfully tight across her waist and the ice cold metal of another blade against her ribs. In panic she tried to struggle free but the arm held fast and out of the corner of her eye she could she several figures ganging up behind her. "Please let me go…" she gasped out pleadingly.

A bristly cheek brushed against her ear. "When did _you _ever show mercy, you Borg bitch?" His hot breath smelled strongly of alcohol, she heard a cruel and bitter laugh before his next words, "This is for the people you murdered at Wolf 359…"

**A/n: Please review! Do my regular readers want me to write more of this tomorrow and end the cliff-hanger or update "The Hansen Identity"? **


	4. Fallout

Her enhanced eye creaked open, giving her a green tinged view of the overhanging roofs and the star dotted sky above. When she tried to open her human eye to give her a more complete picture of her surroundings it throbbed and refused to fully open. She now became dimly aware of how cold she felt, her body heat seeping continually into the wet tarmac… Why was she here? It was 2230 hours; the walk home didn't take more than fifteen, what had happened? Slowly she forced herself to roll over onto her front, though the stabbing pain in her abdomen made her wince. Lifting her head up she was suddenly violently overwhelmed with memories and felt herself empty her stomach contents over the ground. Shuddering uncontrollably now but managing somehow to swallow back the acidic taste and push herself onto her hands and knees, she turned to peer down the street, dim lights casting a ghostly sheer but when she tried to stand up panic gripped her and her legs refused to cooperate. Inwardly she laughed bitterly, eighteen years as a fearless drone and now I can't bring myself to walk down a street! She looked absentmindedly down at her arms and noticed the scratches running the length of both of them, red blood shimmering against the dull metallic sheen of her implants. A rain puddle at her side reflected back a horrible sight. Her human eye was bruised closed, there was a slash wound running from the implant at the base of her ear to her jaw line and her hair was streaked with red. Cautiously reaching round she found a bleeding wound at the back of her head, a hiss escaping her throat as her fingers brushed it. Memories of how the wound had been sustained began their sinister re-entry into her mind but mercifully she blacked out again before their cruel impact took hold.

"Dr Fuller, you have an assault victim in Room 2." Fuller nodded at the nurse, picked up his tricorder and headed in to see a young unconscious woman lying out on a trolley, shamefully the strange metal which littered her face and body struck him even before her injures, which were shocking enough.

He glanced at the young policeman who stood warily by the bed. "What happened here?"

"I found her lying in a back alley while I was doing my rounds; there was blood and sick everywhere so I brought her here, even though I'm not sure what she is…"

Fuller frowned at him. "She's as human as you or I, metal or no metal!" He rebuked sharply. The policeman looked abashed and Fuller allowed his face to soften, "You did the right thing in bringing her here." The policeman nodded weakly, but still eyed the woman fearfully. Fuller ignored him and began his scans, "Concussion, several shallow knife wounds, no broken bones…" He halted abruptly as he read the next bit of data. God he hated cases like this, it reminded him of how superficial humanity's progress really was. "You called it in to Violent Crimes didn't you?" he asked the policeman quietly.

"Yeah, two detectives should be here anytime." He replied.

"Good, now I need you to go outside and tell one of the nurses that Protocol 4 needs to be started for the patient in Room 2 okay?"

The policeman paled, fear of the woman visibly changing to pity before disappearing hurriedly out of the door. Fuller sighed sadly, obviously he knew hospital codes. He was jerked from his thoughts by a weak groan echoing from the bed and immediately went back to her bedside.

White. That was all she could see, it was blinding… Oh, why did her head have to hurt so much… "Miss…miss can you hear me?" The voice sounded distant and far away until her mental fog lifted slightly and she could connect to the handsome blue eyed man peering down at her from above. "Miss?" He said again, more clearly now.

She heard a disturbing groan from somewhere before realising it came from her own throat. "Wh…whe…where am…I?" She stammered out weakly, wondering at the same time what was wrong with her voice, had she somehow damaged her cortical node?

The man smiled at her kindly, though somewhere in the back of her mind she registered that his eyes were sad. "You're in the Emergency Room at San Francisco Memorial Hospital. I'm Dr Fuller. Can you tell me your name?"

Automatically she began to reel off her designation, "Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct of…" She paused and blushed at the doctor's confused and nervous expression. "Seven is adequate." She mumbled unconfidently.

He relaxed."Okay Seven. Now do you remember what happened to you tonight?" He asked gently.

Her heart began to race at the question but she was unsure as to why and that frightened her. "No…I…I don't understand…I have a photographic memory…I should be able to…to…"

He put a hand on her arm. "It's fine, you have a pretty bad concussion and you're in shock. Some memory loss is to be expected." Despite this reassurance she heard him sigh heavily before speaking again, "Can you sit up for me so I can treat your head wound?"

Obligingly Seven sat up, slowly swinging her strangely heavily legs over the side of the biobed. He treated her wounds with admirable efficiency but was still looking at her apprehensively as he looked over her cybernetic arm and the slash wounds around the metal. Thinking he was unsure how to treat the injury Seven said, "If you wrap it in biogenic gauze it will heal on its own after a few regeneration cycles."

"Oh…okay." He replied, taking her word for it and beginning to dress the arm from elbow to wrist.

When he'd finished Seven could no longer fight her need to leave. "If I am adequately treated, may I return home?"

He sighed unhappily. "No, not yet the police are standing outside waiting to interview you."

Seven stared at him, not understanding or not willing to comprehend what he was saying. "That…that is unnecessary…I only wish to return home…"

He crossed his arms over his chest, looking at her as if waiting to gauge her reaction. "No, that's not possible yet I'm afraid. I'm sorry to tell you that you've been the victim of a serious sexual assault and…"

Seven's ears blocked the rest out. All the air was suddenly sucked from the room, her lungs wanted to explode and she began to gasp like a victim of drowning, "No…. _NO_…. That's…impossible…" She was suddenly on her feet, the flight complex utterly ruling her brain. Fuller reached out to stop her but in a single movement she sent him flying, screaming now, "_IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! You're LYING!_"

Two nurses and a female doctor came running in at the commotion. Seven backed against the wall as her escape route was cut off, her knees buckling and sending her slumping to the floor. The women looked at Fuller, splayed out on the floor with a bleeding and obviously broken nose beside and toppled over trolley, for explanation. "Rape victim." He said in response to their silent question and the female doctor then cautiously approached Seven, who was now curled up in the foetal position against the wall, mentally paralysed with shock and denial.

She slowly met the eyes of the female doctor who placed a motherly hand on her shoulder. "I'm Doctor Andrews dear. Just try your best to breathe slower and relax, you're not in any danger here I promise."

Seven gulped and lifted her head, only now seeing the chaos she'd caused. "I…I…I'm sorry…I…don't know why I…" Looking at Dr Fuller's battered face made the floodgates open and tears streamed relentlessly down her face.

"It's okay." Dr Andrews said with firm certainty. "You've been through a horrible trauma and it's expected for you to act out of character. Everything's going to be fine."

The rest of the experience passed like a slow nightmare. The police questioning and the humiliating experience of a rape kit passed in a blur. Any word anyone did manage to get out of her was horribly blunt. She felt a little bad when she accepted Andrews' advice to talk to someone about the night's events with a nod, already knowing full well that along with the police leaflets that had been blindly stuffed into the bag holding her painkillers and preventative medications this experience would be hidden away never to be looked at or thought of again. This compartmentalisation was the only way she could function without collapsing into an unrecoverable wreck. Silently she tried again to escape through the hospital doors, slip away and lick her psychological wounds but Dr Andrews stopped her. "You _need_ to call someone, a family member, a friend, anyone. You're not going out of this hospital unaccompanied, you need to be looked after…"

Seven almost laughed in her face. Call someone? No one was to know of any of this, Not the Admiral. Not the Doctor. Not anyone. _Ever_. Still she had to get out of here… Resignation must have shown on her face for Andrews sat her down at the phone and left her with a security guard watching. Seven twisted her hands in her lap, the Admiral would be _livid_ that she hadn't called her, the Doctor too and yet they were the last people she wanted to see… She could call Lt. Cmdr Tuvok but… After who knows how long she dialled the only phone number she could recall in such a state, not even sure whose it was.

The insistent ring of the phone eerily echoed around the house, pulling him from his light doze. He rolled over and glanced at the clock, 1:52 am. Who on Earth would call him at this hour? He flattered himself with the thought that it was Kathryn calling to apologise but as it continued to ring out, a chill of foreboding running up his back, he knew somehow that it wasn't. Getting drowsily out of bed, stumbling over to the phone and only just remembering to pull on a vest over his bare chest, he answered it, immediately fully awake when he saw who it was. "Seven?" He asked in shock. She looked…he couldn't think of a word to describe it… "What's wrong?" he asked urgently, anxiety almost making the question an angered shout.

She just stared at him for a minute, as if shocked that it was him that had answered, despite the fact that only he lived here. "I…I…was…" She seemed to gag on the next word, "…at…attacked…on my way home…they won't…let me…go home…without an escort… Will you come and get me?" He was frightened by how she spoke, he'd _never _heard Seven stammer and he'd seen her in some pretty traumatic situations…

"Of course I will." He told her as gently and calmly as he possibly could, despite the fact that his heart had plunged down out of his chest with fear and worry. "Where are you sweetheart?" Sweetheart? Where had _that_ come from? Desperation to soothe, he supposed…

Seven didn't even seem fully aware of who she was looking at, let alone what he was feeling, as she answered, her eyes luminous and distant, "San…San Francisco Memorial."

"Okay. I'll be right there." He reached to turn off the phone but a sudden panicky edge to her voice stopped him.

"You'll…you'll come… _alone_…won't you?" Her words were as clear as cut glass now, as was her desperation.

"Yes, of course I will." He replied firmly. "Just wait there five minutes and I'll be there… okay?"

She nodded heavily, he was sure he saw tears begin to flow down her ghostly cheeks before the phone abruptly cut off. He shivered before coming to and dressing as fast as he ever had in his life, flying out the door with car keys tightly in hand.

**A/n: Please review.**


	5. The Samaritan

_Why_? Why did I call Chakotay of all people? He is the last person I want to know… Seven felt tears torch the edges of her eyes but this time did not allow them to fall, instead shifting painfully on the small plastic chair and adjusting the ill fitting newly replicated clothes that had replaced the clothes that had disappeared into a police forensics bag. Perhaps he won't come, I could still run…

Chakotay walked hurriedly into the ER's lobby but was shocked into stopping dead by whom he saw awaiting him. No, that couldn't be her… After a few seconds he knew the undeniable, the metal which laced her hand was forever unmistakable despite the ugly bandage which was now wound up said arm. She looked so…shrunken, vulnerable and at the same time eerily unapproachable. Finally words, slow and inadequate with shock, came to his lips. "My God Seven…" He choked out in hushed exclamation within half a metre of her but she didn't move a muscle from her dejected position, head hanging as if she was a puppet whose strings had snapped, bedraggled loose hair hiding her face. Quickly he was within a step of her, just managing to restrain his strong urge to hug her, instead having to take slight relief from asking, in a voice husky with anxiety and tiredness, "What the _hell_ happened?"

Seven mechanically lifted her head to meet his eyes, the normal steady calm she was accustomed to seeing in their dark depths replaced with urgent, pained concern. Wrenching her own eyes away, white, bloodless hands clenched tight in a fruitless attempt to stop them shaking, she felt transparent and irreversibly tainted under the bright light of that clear gaze.

As Seven broke her disturbingly vacant stare and twisted away from him, Chakotay noticed a thin trail of blood running down her cheek, obviously forgotten in the rush to treat some wound. Without thinking he reached out and brushed the newly healed skin with his fingers, pulling away as if burned when she jolted back, eyes huge with panic. "Your…your face…" he muttered by way of explanation.

Her breath was ragged for several seconds before she answered, unnervingly robotic and detached after the total, uncontrollable fear of less than a minute before, "A knife wound." She watched listlessly as his throat moved up and down in a violent gulp, anger flashing in his eyes, though she didn't think it was directed at her.

Chakotay was momentarily distracted from Seven by the appearance of a middle aged female doctor in a lab coat who smiled kindly at them both, her gaze hovering on Seven even as she addressed him, "Hello I'm Dr Andrews, I treated Seven tonight. Now, as I'm sure you're aware she's been the victim of a serious assault, perhaps you could arrange someone to keep an eye on her?" Seven flinched and shot up into a standing position, almost falling over until a quick thinking Chakotay grabbed her upper arm to stabilise her.

"Thanks Doctor, I'll make sure she's okay." Chakotay said gratefully with remarkable composure considering how tense Seven was under his hand. "Come on, I'll take you home." He murmured quietly, feeling relieved when he got a leaden nod in response. In silence they walked outside, Seven freeing herself from his grasp almost as soon as they were out the door and making their way across the darkened car park. Crossing her arms defensively across her chest and keeping her head low in an effort to stifle the sound of her relentlessly chattering teeth, Seven teetered, off balance in her high heels, having to lean on a car every so often to stay upright. The sound of his voice behind her made her jump, her head snapping round to see his outstretched offering a jacket. "Put this on, it's cold." Actually Chakotay knew it was relatively warm, a normal Californian summer night but he didn't want her to think he'd noticed her excessive shivering, which he knew couldn't be caused by cold alone. She didn't submit to his offered solicitude though, lips pressing tightly together as she shook her head vigorously. Even when they reached his car and he opened the passenger door for her, Seven still couldn't look him in the eye, such was her burning shame at him seeing her in such a broken, imperfect state. She halted, staring into the dark confines of the car, claustrophobia suddenly closing in on her until the sudden presence of his hands gently placing the coat around her shoulders brought her out of herself and she climbed in, wincing in quickly disguised pain as she sat down. Chakotay noticed and some deeper, unacknowledged fear gripped him for a second before he shook it off with a strained sigh and joined her in the car.

The drive was by necessity slow as Chakotay's eyes kept leaving the road to glance at Seven, hunched against the door, his coat wrapped tight around her slim frame and her arms closed guardedly around her abdomen. He couldn't help but gulp as they reached the first intersection and he realised he had no idea where she lived. "What's your address Seven?" he asked softly but that got no response. "Seven?" He prompted louder, feeling unbelievably guilty as she started so violently at the sound of his voice that she hit her head off the window.

Gulping hard as the slow realisation of where she was sunk in and that she had her former First Officer staring at her dumbfounded, Seven took a long time to gather her wits enough to say, "I…apologise. What did you say?"

Chakotay mustered up a smile from somewhere. "I was just wondering where you lived."

"Oh…" She blushed as the address struggled to come to her. "Edi...Edison Street, number 42…behind the power station…"

"Right, okay." He replied awkwardly, swallowing a sigh of relief that it was only a ten minute drive away.

Seven was opening the door to scramble out before the car had even come to a full stop outside her door, the coat falling from her shoulders as she rushed blindly out, only giving a whispered, "Thanks" to Chakotay before slamming the car door shut and doing a stumbling run to her doorstep.

Chakotay swore under his breath in frustration as he sped out after her, managing to be at her side before she had fully opened the door and disappeared inside, he held her back, struggling to keep eye contact with the uncharacteristically flighty woman. "What are you doing Seven?" he asked her through gritted teeth.

"Going inside." She responded bluntly, though he was sure he heard a sob hiding under the abrupt tone.

"Seven! You call me crying at two in the morning saying some bastards beat you up and you expect me to just dump you here? You have a concussion, you shouldn't be alone…"

"I have a phone." She saw hurt burn across his face but was in too much agony herself to do anything but ignore it.

Chakotay leaned against the wall, his eyes boring into her. "Look, at least let me call the Doctor to take a look at that arm, maybe ask Icheb to sit with you? You need to talk to someone; it doesn't have to be me…"

"No!" She cried out, the first spark of life in her he'd seen all night. Then she sighed and looked down at the ground, "What do you want me to say Commander? I've had...a…trau…traumatic night and all I want is to be left alone…"

Reluctantly and perhaps against his better judgement, Chakotay backed off. "Okay, okay. Just promise to call me if you need anything okay?" She nodded, although he had a sickening feeling that his services had been dismissed.

"Comm…Commander…" He frowned at her and she corrected herself, "Chakotay…you won't tell anyone about this will you?"

His expression was one of frustrated earnestness as he held her gaze. "No Seven, I won't." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "If you really believed that you needed to even ask me that you wouldn't have called me."

She leaned against the door, allowing her eyes to go to his. "No…no, I suppose not. I…app…appreciate what you have…done for me tonight."

He smiled sadly. "I know and its okay, really it is." She stepped inside. "I'll come see you tomorrow." He told her but she just gave him a single weak, dejected nod and shut the door. He stared at that closed door for several minutes, in two minds whether to knock it down and force himself in. Finally in frustration he kicked out at the nearest wall before returning to his car. Why the hell would she talk to me anyway? I'm nothing to her really…

Seven didn't get any further inside than the threshold, her body sagging against the door she'd just shut in her samaritan's face, sobs choking her as the deathly bleakness of her situation began to hit her in waves. She fought the suddenly desperate desire to call him back to her, to do anything to avoid facing this… No, no, what would I say? I can't tell him! I just _can't_… The sound of his retreating footsteps on the gravel jolted her out of these thoughts and into ones she'd been fighting all night to avoid. As she heard his car engine start and drive away she broke down irretrievably, her hysterical agonising cries echoing around the empty room.

**A/n: Please review. **


	6. Rejection

Pain shot up her spine and into her head as she was violently thrown down against a cold, hard surface. Ringing in her ears and the sound of her own pleading breaths almost but not quite drowning out the drunken arguments of the shadowed figures looming above her, relishing their power over the broken embodiment of their hatred… Suddenly a set of colourless eyes glared down at her, there was an animalistic gleam in them that instinctively made screams flee her chest until her lungs could withstand no more…

Seven jolted into consciousness as if she'd received an electric shock, the past screams still laying at wait in her mouth. Shuddering uncontrollably, her eyes scanned every corner but absorbed nothing so it was several minutes before she realised she hadn't moved from the threshold at all in the intervening hours between Chakotay dropping her off and now… Tears rolled silently her cheeks, shaking her whole body, as she forced her numb, blood starved limbs into a standing position. 0534 hours, just over three hours before she was expected to return to work, act normal, indifferent… Sucking in air she grabbed the door handle to get out of this prison but her legs sagged, her chest collapsing in blind panic as if the oxygen had been kicked out. With a fearful, angered cry she sank against the door, I can't even step outside, I'll never leave…

A snarl laced with tears left her as she snatched up the bag of medication, pulling out pills as she staggered to the bathroom and mechanically gulping them down one after the other, not caring what they were or why they were prescribed. Only a strong gag reflex stopped her from endangering herself and as she looked up from the sink into the mirror the sight of undamaged skin where the night before there had been a gaping wound agonised her. It's as if it never happened, no one will ever notice…why can't I just forget it? My physical wounds are irrelevant, why does my mind refuse to let go? I'm tainted, imperfect, forever…

Thoughts thudded through her brain in tandem with the hot shower water. I…I fought in Tsunkatse, almost killed a Hirogen, why couldn't I fight off some drunken louts? Why did I just take it? I should have been able to stop this… They'll never be caught…Starfleet will think I, a Borg, deserve whatever I get… Suddenly she became aware that the water had stopped, the Computer's voice echoing round her head, "Sonic shower malfunction, insufficient water supply. Please discontinue use immediately." With a deadened sigh and a glance down at her bruised frame, the skin now raw from paranoid, incessant scrubbing, she stepped out into the clouds of steam and wrapped herself in a dressing gown, feverish chills gripping her as she sat on the damp floor and awaited relief.

The doorbell sliced the dead air, Seven shivered, as she had done with the previous nine rings. Whoever it was obviously getting impatient as it rang again, changed to a knock, then a voice, "Seven, if you're in there let me in." She stiffened but didn't move, what would be the point? "For God's sake Seven, I _know_ you're in there…" She was slightly tempted to tell him to go away but her voice refused to function. What would he say anyway? Why couldn't you fight them off? Why didn't you use that Borg skill of instilling fear? Even that was only if he believed her and to ask him to hide such a thing from the Admiral just wasn't fair…

Chakotay rammed his fist against the door one final time and waited painfully for the longed for response, but the door remained unmoved and his ears could detect no sound behind it. "Seven…" The name came in a pleading near whisper now as he slowly admitted defeat. Maybe, he glanced at his watch, 9:02 am; she _was_ miraculously at work, indifferent to his worries and concern. With an exasperated sigh, trying to expel the deep, gnawing doubts, he hoped to God that she was fine as he left.

Kathryn weaved through the tables of her favourite café to reach Chakotay, whom she was unsettled to notice, wasn't looking out for her as usual but instead staring into a half drunk cup, a dark, sullen look firmly fixed on his face. Suddenly nervous, she reached forward and gave his cheek, unshaven for some reason, a quick peck as she sat down. "Hey…" She began affectionately, feeling needles of anger prickle her as she got little more than a distracted nod in response. "Okay, so what's wrong?"

He stiffened abruptly. "Nothing."

She gave a resentful sniff before grasping one of his hands which moved around the table in agitation. "Look, I really am sorry, okay?"

"About what?" he asked without thinking, the argument with Kathryn having been forgotten in his preoccupation with Seven's welfare that had stolen sleep from him.

"What do you mean, about what? I'm apologising for what I said last night!"

Chakotay only now looked at her properly, feeling guilty that he hadn't thought of her at all until just then but not enough to stop him sighing as he said, "I forgive you Kathryn."

Kathryn wasn't as satisfied as she thought she would be, it was as if she was an afterthought! "Well then, what's got you so upset?" she asked with probing sharpness.

Chakotay bristled, anxiety which seemed to have no prospect of fading pushing him to the edge. "Aren't I allowed to have a shit morning for no particular reason every so often?" He snapped defensively.

Kathryn gaped at him in shock. "Well, of course you are but…"

He rose from his chair, running a hand through his hair. "Just don't ask for once okay? I'm sorry I snapped at you but I'm late for a meeting…" He kissed her noncommittally on the lips, threw a tip on the table and left the Admiral sitting alone, confused and more than a little resentful.

The next few days saw Seven merely existing rather than living, she neither left the apartment nor saw anyone, other than the single female police officer who had been assigned her case, flawlessly sympathetic but little else in the way of helpful, until that is a worried Doctor called her having heard she hadn't been to work. When after twelve rings she finally answered he was shocked by her appearance, she'd always been stoic, especially over the telephone, but her white, frozen face now appeared downright hostile, "Doctor." She acknowledged through gritted teeth, "What do you want?"

"Want? I don't want anything Seven, you just haven't been to work in four days and you're not looking yourself…"

Seven couldn't stop her face twisting bitterly for a second. "I am myself and I consider myself…perfectly functional." He looked disbelieving and that angered her, he didn't even feel _any_ pain, let alone anything like this… "As for my work attendance that is my concern alone."

"Okay…but I really do think you need a maintenance check, how about this afternoon at three…"

"No!" Seven struggled to recollect herself as the Doctor stared at her and suddenly she snapped, "_I_ will be the one who decides if and when I need medical care. I don't expect you, at the beck and call of a computer, to understand but _I _value my independence…"

The Doctor flinched as if she'd slapped him. "Fine." He remarked icily, "This computer programme will leave you to your independence. Goodbye." The screen abruptly went blank as he hung up in anger and Seven began to feel tears of horror and self hatred escape from her eyes as soon as the initial elation of getting rid of him passed. How could she have spoken in such unforgivable, venomous terms? What had happened didn't give her license to be cruel and certainly not to her faithful, albeit continually patronising, friend.

Making a decision despite the heart squeezing fear it excited, she dialled another number into the phone, even managing a watery smile when the desired person answered, "Hello, Irene Hansen speaking." Irene said chirpily before her eyes fell on her niece and clouded over with concern, "Annika! What's wrong honey? You look ill…"

Seven sighed and had to bite her lips slightly to maintain her composure before such a sympathetic face. "I'm…fine Aunt Irene. I just…really feel in need of that break now, may I come and stay with you?"

Irene was too shaken by her niece's appearance to ask many questions. "Of…of course dear! Anytime, just like I said. I'll come and pick you up from Stockholm's transport station and we can talk okay?"

Seven nodded heavily even though she knew she'd do all she could to _avoid _talking. "As you wish. Thank you."

The first couple of days of the visit caused more upset than happiness for both Hansens. Irene knew there was something very wrong, Annika didn't eat, barely spoke and would disappear for hours walking the hills alone, returning looking worse than before after the flush of windswept exercise abandoned her pallid face. Irene was lying awake in bed, considering if she should break her golden rule and press Annika for a confidence when eerie, blood curdling screams echoed through the house and in fright she ran to Annika's room to see her thrashing around wildly, agonising screams being ripped from her… Irene leapt forward, grasping her by the shoulders and shaking her awake. "Annika! Annika, wake up!"

Seven woke up with a choked gasp to see her aunt staring at her in fright and couldn't stop herself from bursting into tears. Irene firmly put an arm around her shoulders, "What is it dear? Were you dreaming of the Borg?"

"A…a…nightmare…" Seven finally choked out between sobs.

Irene shook her head. "No, a memory. Tell me what happened!"

Seven gazed down at her shaking limbs, under a layer of cold sweat, for several minutes before finally answering, "I…I was…assaulted…in San Francisco…I couldn't stop it…"

"Oh my God!" Irene exclaimed. "I knew Starfleet should have offered you protection…"

"In their eyes I am Borg." She replied bluntly. "It…it…was cadets who…attacked me…" She still felt unable to confide that final degradation, that they hadn't found her quite repulsive enough not to… "Why did it have to…be like this?" she cried in near hysterics as Irene, for whom being beaten was bad enough to explain everything and didn't consider anything else, pulled her into her arms and let her weep into her shoulder.

**A/n: I'm not particularly happy with this chapter but it'll need to tide you over for a few days because I've neglected my other fics. Please review. A big thank you to Sweetdeath04 for updating her C/7 story "Prelude" for me to read!**


	7. Faultlines

The grey, churning waves crashed against the silver ridge of the cliff, near the edge of which Seven sat on the small bench provided for the intrepid walkers who from here could see miles of the seemingly endless Baltic Sea. This isolated spot had become her favourite place in her month long stay with her aunt in her little house on the outskirts of the village which lay huddled into a gentler section of the neighbouring coastline.

Irene took the last steep step up the path and as she paused to take her breath she saw Annika just where she'd expected her to be, her face reflecting the brooding quality of the sky on this overcast September morning. "How are you today Annika?" she finally called over.

Seven turned, feeling her eyebrows rise in incredulous admiration at her aunt, in her late sixties, managing to walk up here and seem relatively unaffected. "I'm fine Aunt Irene." She replied calmly, indicating the place beside her as she saw that her aunt didn't completely believe her words. They were true, if you put the word "fine" in relation to what had happened, her composure had returned, she was _functional_ again and that was all the dominant part of her brain had the will to desire.

Irene sank slowly onto the weather beaten, rust tinted bench and again glanced at her niece, only now noticing the pad clenched in her white hands. "Did you get a message this morning?" she asked, "I hope its not bad news…"

A weak smile fluttered across Seven's features. "No, it's not. It is a reply to an enquiry I sent to the Vulcan Science Ministry."

"Oh? Want to tell me what about?"

Seven sighed as she met her aunt's concerned eyes. "I asked if they had a position for me."

"A job? Annika…" Irene stopped and attempted to control her worried tone. Stiltedly she asked, "Will you be going back to San Francisco?"

Seven's eyes became slightly panicked for a moment. "No! I…intend to get a position off world." She saw that Irene didn't understand and tried her best to explain her thought process. "I cannot remain here forever; I must…put things behind me and be productive…" She gulped hard, "I appreciate you tolerating me, my stay here has been a…peaceful reprieve…"

"Now Annika, you know I like having you here and you can stay here as long as you want! I just don't want you to rush yourself… Earth wasn't too good to you those first couple of months…"

"I feel better now, really I do." Seven assured her, half to convince Irene and half to convince herself.

Irene gave her hand an affectionate squeeze. "That's wonderful." She said softly. "Now did they offer you a position?"

"They didn't decline me, which is more promising than the others. I will need to convince them of my worth."

Irene sniffed. "They should be begging you to come help them. Starfleet…"

"I won't be going back to Starfleet." Seven said sharply.

"I know dear." Irene placated gently before saying with a sigh, "When do you want to go?"

Seven shot her a quick apologetic glance. "Tomorrow morning." Seeing Irene reel in shock she said, "I need to return to San Francisco to release my apartment and inform Admiral Janeway of my plans…"

Irene nodded slowly, reluctantly accepting this logic. "You don't need her approval or anyone's, remember that dear. No one from that ship has even called you…"

Seven winced in guilt, that was her doing not her friends', she'd told no one where she was, had cut them off to stop the grief and shame returning but her aunt of course wasn't aware of this. "Don't worry Aunt Irene."

"Okay." Irene conceded, "But keep in touch, I'm still planning that family Christmas and you can _always _come back." She looked in Annika's face for confirmation and was relieved when she gave her a grateful nod. Smiling now, she added humorously, "I'm sure Peter would give you a job in his shop…"

Seven giggled as she struggled to shake off the tension. Peter, the only village resident anywhere near her age, got so tongue-tied around her that it had become a joke between her and Irene, "I'm not sure giving Peter something to stare at would be very fulfilling for me but I _will _come back, I promise."

Seven left the next morning just as she had planned but her emotions were not so cooperative. Even the crowds at the transport station in Stockholm, a city a fraction the size of San Francisco, made panic build up within her and even the sight of a Starfleet uniform, once so comforting, now brought those sickening memories to the fore no matter how much she fought them back from her mind's eye. Despite all this she battled through it and made the trip to San Francisco quietly, trying to remain inconspicuous as she made the short journey to the gleaming hulk that was Starfleet Headquarters. It was normal room temperature inside the carefully immaculate corridors but Seven couldn't stop shivering as she made her way to the Admiral's office. A stern voice behind her made her jump violently, "Excuse me, who are you? Do you have an appointment?"

Seven's breath came in a panicky rush as she turned around and saw the cold, hostile face of a neatly dressed middle aged woman behind an inefficiently high desk. "No but…I wish to…see Admiral Janeway…" Embarrassment flushed her cheeks at the noticeable judder in her voice, she sounded so weak and fearful…

The woman assessed her for several seconds before abruptly pressing her intercom. "Admiral Janeway, there's someone here to see you…" She turned back to Seven. "Who are you?"

Growing impatient to get what was sure to be an unpleasant interview over with, Seven spoke with enough cold clarity to bypass the secretary. "It's Seven here Admiral."

Janeway immediately appeared out of her office, an agitated frown set deep on her face. "And where have you been?" She asked sharply, not bothering to greet her wayward protégé.

Seven swallowed and unconsciously adopted her customary defensive position, back ramrod straight, head high and arms behind her back before answering robotically, "I went to stay with my aunt."

"Oh? I wish I could've given my responsibilities as easily as you, given up my job, for a little vacation…"

Seven was painfully stung and blinked back tears for a second, thinking of the real reason for her flight from the city. You've never let me have any responsibility! She thought resentfully as the flashbacks passed over her again. Starfleet abandoned me… Instead of voicing these thoughts however she mumbled, "May we talk Admiral?"

Janeway nodded, angered by her lack of explanation but seeing clearly that she would get none she turned back into her office and shut the door as Seven followed her in, head bowed. "Well Seven? What do you have to say to me? You've already been unspeakably rude to the Doctor…"

"I'll apologise to him." Seven said hastily, meeting the Admiral's eyes stoically before nerves made her avoid her gaze. "I wish to leave Earth, work off world."

Janeway gave a start, she hadn't been expecting that. "May I ask why?"

Seven felt her nails embed themselves into the palms of her hands as she answered, "I have not succeeded in…adapting to life here. I believe that…it would be prudent for me to live elsewhere."

Seven, I warned you that it was going to take hard work to settle here and you just give up after four months? What makes you think it'll be any better for you somewhere else? Starfleet have gone out of their way, _I've_ gone out of my way to accommodate you but still you…"

Seven felt needles of sorrow and resentment prickle her at being so misunderstood and she felt herself snap. "I am an individual now Admiral! I just don't want to be here…" She felt a sob rise up from her chest but heroically suppressed it. "I'll always be grateful for Voyager Admiral…"

Janeway felt her angry disappointment recede slightly as Seven's belated expression of gratitude soothed her ego. "I know. What do you plan to do?"

"I'm looking into a position on Vulcan." Seven replied.

"Well, if that doesn't suit you nothing will. Adaption…" That single word dripped with condescension, "…should be easier for you there."

"I hope so." Seven murmured, heading tiredly for the door as the confrontation drained her low energy and emotional reserves. "Goodbye Admiral."

Janeway had by now went back to the work on her desk, the conversation over as far as she was concerned. "Goodbye Seven…and good luck with it."

Seven thought she heard sarcasm, but she was by now thick skinned enough to dismiss it and she practically fled from the room and headed down the corridor at a fast trot, colliding head on with someone coming in the opposite direction. Hurriedly pulling back she muttered, "I apologise, I…" The face she saw sent a violent shock through her.

"Seven!" Chakotay exclaimed, a pleased smile, heavily tinged with relief although Seven herself couldn't see it, immediately spread across his face and warmed his dark eyes. "Where have you been?" he asked urgently, "I've been worried about you…"

Seven's brain closed down for a moment as she remembered their last horrific meeting but his touchingly sincere words brought her back, although Chakotay noticed how pale she had gone, his smile changing to a frown of concern. "Thank you…but there was no need. I've been staying with Irene Hansen for the past month."

Chakotay, still holding on to the arm he had seized to halt their collision, felt his grip tighten. "Of course there was reason for me to worry Seven…" Her head lowered unhappily and he realised he'd need to change the subject. "It's great that you're getting on so well with Irene Seven, I always hoped it would turn out that way, you deserve to have family around you."

"She has been infinitely kinder than I deserve." Seven replied softly, seeing that he was about to argue she moved on. "What have you been doing?"

Chakotay felt a bitter smile twist his lips, he shouldn't let her get away with deflecting questions… "In two weeks I'm leaving to lecture on anthropology in Peru…"

For the first time in this conversation Seven eagerly met his eyes. "That is wonderful news. That was a dream for you wasn't it?"

Chakotay was surprised and flattered by her obvious interest and enthusiasm. "Yeah, it really is. What are you doing here? Did the Admiral manage to get you out of Stellar Cartography?"

Seven swallowed, for some reason she feared telling him even more than she had the Admiral, it made her decision more final somehow. "I…came to tell her that I'm leaving Earth."

Chakotay almost choked. "What? Why?" he almost shouted, the sudden surge of emotion leaving him as soon as it had come when he read her shocked, almost tearful expression.

"I…I just don't…feel safe here anymore…" She choked out almost to herself before horror at such an admission silenced her.

She squirmed under his intense gaze which seemed to last hours but in reality only lasted a matter of seconds. "Seven…I know you've been treated…horribly here but it's a minority I promise. I understand you being scared I really do but…" He stopped as he realised his tone was a little too…intense for a conversation in a hallway. "Look just let me tell Kathryn something and we'll go and talk about it okay?" he asked, almost pleading now.

Seven gulped, shaking her head in denial before he'd finished speaking. She knew if she spent another second with him she'd break down, why did he still have such power over her, even after all this? "No. I really must go, I'm sorry." He felt her shake under his hand and unwillingly let her go, getting such a painfully sorrowful look that he felt anxiety and grief stab him with just as much strength as it had that night.

He stood watching her retreating back for longer than he realised before going, still filled with unexpressed frustration, into Kathryn's office, the feeling only increasing as he saw her sitting nonchalantly at her desk. "Why is Seven leaving?" He asked abruptly.

Janeway felt herself bristle as the green eyed monster of old returned with a vengeance at the agitated question. "How do you know about that?"

"I…I met her in the hallway…" Why am I explaining myself? It's like she's accusing me of something. "Does that matter?" He snapped, "Why is she going?"

"She told me she wasn't adapting to life here and wanted to leave. That's all _I _know."

Chakotay gaped at her. "You didn't even ask what was making her unhappy? What we could do to help her?"

Kathryn slammed a book down on the desk. "What could I say? As she said, she's an individual now, so it's not really my concern if she wants to stay here or go hide with the Vulcans! I've spent too many hours worrying about her…"

"I'm just saying…" Chakotay began to retort but fell silent as he realised how little he could do if Seven wouldn't talk to him.

Kathryn's eyes flickered with triumph at forcing Seven from his head but it was a hollow victory. "What are you doing here anyway?" she asked tiredly.

Chakotay distractedly rubbed his forehead as he struggled to remember. "Just…just to say I have to attend a meeting about my new job tonight…"

"Really? Why can't they just tell you while you're away for two months?" She asked bitterly.

"Kathryn, I'm _really _not in the mood for this argument right now…" He practically growled, glancing at the door as he fought the urge to just leave.

Kathryn backed down, he was hers and Seven was gone yet she was driving him away. "I know honey…" She began in a wheedling tone. "I just get uptight. I'll miss you when you're gone…" She whispered, looping her arm around his neck and leaning in for a warm kiss but all she got was a cool, distracted brush on the cheek.

**A/n: I'm not completely happy with this chapter but please review! I'll try and make the next chapter better. **


	8. Gone

**A/n: My home was (thankfully) easier than I thought it would be so here's a new chapter. Thanks to Sweetdeath04 for updating "Prelude" last night.**

Seven flinched as her shoulder brushed against a stranger's in the crush that was San Francisco's lunchtime street traffic and she pressed herself tighter against the walls of the shops, sighing in relief when she saw the small sign which pointed out the city's largest Vulcan run restaurant and quickly stepping inside, thankfully seeing Lt. Cmdr. Tuvok almost immediately and heading towards him. As she approached the table Tuvok lowered the pad he was reading from to reveal a face as calm and stoic as ever, though those that knew him would have seen that he was pleased to see his former crewmate. "Good Afternoon Seven." He greeted her and indicated the chair across from him.

Seven inclined her head in acknowledgement and sank into the chair just as a waiter arrived with a tray of food and set it down at the table. "I took the liberty of ordering a choice for you, since you will most likely need to become accustomed to Vulcan cuisine." He explained as a variety of small dishes were set out for them to share.

"Thank you Commander." She replied, quickly but not ungraciously as she wanted to get to the point of their meeting. "I take it then, that you have news of my application?"

Tuvok took a sip of his soup before answering, "I do, they would have accepted you for that post but a better offer came from the Space Development Council…"

Seven uncharacteristically interrupted him. "A better offer?" she echoed.

"Certainly. You are to fit our entire research fleet with Astrometrics labs. My wife knows the head of employment allocations so I believed it would be prudent to suggest your suitability for the job, only assessing our scientific data, as you applied for, would have been an illogical use of your skills…"

Seven stared at him, knowing how many strings he must have pulled, to use the human expression, to acquire a more fulfilling position for her. She struggled to find adequate words to express herself, "I am deeply in your debt Commander…" He raised his hand as he nonchalantly continued to eat. She got the message and fell silent, also starting on her meal but the bland concoction stopped in her throat for a moment and she swallowed down an equally inoffensive gulp of fruit juice, the blank stoic faces of the Vulcans around them making a chill of loneliness rise up her spine for a moment.

Tuvok seemed to gage her reaction and commented levelly. "Vulcan is very different from both Voyager and Earth Seven, you may not find it as easy to adapt as you believe."

Seven tensed and gulped slightly. "You believe my level of logic to be insufficient?" she asked quietly.

"On the contrary, I have the upmost confidence in your ability. My concern is that it may not be…suitable, you have become accustomed to emotion…"

Seven felt her mouth go dry. "Be that as it may, I believe I would be better suited to Vulcan at the moment Commander."

"I leave it to your judgement." He said quietly as he slid a pad across the table to her. "But remember that there are challenges and difficulties everywhere."

Seven nodded slowly but internally denied the advice even as she absorbed it, glancing down that the pad which said she was expected on Vulcan within two days. "I appreciate your advice Commander; I will try to remember it."

She had packed her few belongings for the trip within an hour of returning from the restaurant and quickly set out again to say goodbye to the one person she was anxious about leaving behind. Starfleet Academy, where she had dropped Icheb off with nothing but pride and happiness only four months before, now loomed sinisterly before her, cadets, anyone of whom could have been part of her group of attackers, scurrying around inside. She had to lock away those fears as she stepped into the lift and ascended up to Icheb's floor but what she saw out the large glass window as she stepped out paralysed her before it. The alleyway which connected the back of the Academy to the street, the shortcut she had taken that night… The pavement had been slick with rain then, the dark walls closing in as they cornered her…

Icheb stepped out of his small set of quarters and glanced down the hallway, feeling his face light up when he saw his guardian. "Seven!" He called, blinking in surprise when she didn't turn from the window, her eyes fixed on something below but her mind obviously far away, her complexion ashen… Feeling worry gnaw at him he walked up to her and touched her arm gently, "Seven?" Her breath caught in her throat at the touch and she wheeled around violently, yanking her arm away, her eyes panic stricken.

Seven realised what she had done as soon as she saw Icheb's shocked face and horrified, embarrassed colour returned blotchily to her cheeks. "Icheb…" She gasped, feeling her legs start to shake as relief replaced panic.

Concern immediately furrowing his brows, Icheb asked anxiously, "What's wrong Seven? Are you malfunctioning, ill?"

Seven swallowed hard, guilt and self hatred overwhelming her, did she really have so little control of herself? "I'm…fine…" She stuttered, struggling to find an acceptable explanation for her behaviour, "You…startled me that's all."

"I could see that." Icheb muttered, not really convinced. "Come on." He grasped her arm and led her towards his quarters. He guided her to the only chair in the room, it was only student accommodation after all, and stood before her. "Now what's wrong Seven?" he demanded.

"Nothing." Seven replied stoically before allowing a little more emotion into her voice as he frowned at her. "I came to say goodbye, I'm leaving for Vulcan tonight."

Icheb visibly relaxed. "You got the job at the Science Ministry on Vulcan?"

"A better one. I've to fit their entire exploration fleet with Astrometrics labs." She smiled weakly, trying to demonstrate how pleased she was and failing because of her inner turmoil.

Icheb beamed at her, he hadn't been expecting such good news at the beginning of their conversation. "That is wonderful news! A perfect deployment of your skills, Starfleet will regret not giving you such an opportunity themselves."

"Yes…." Seven murmured, though her tone said she doubted it.

Icheb suddenly felt his heart twinge with sympathy and worry though he wasn't sure why, and hugged her impulsively, but feeling surprised when she clung to him as she said, "Be careful…I…want you to be safe…"

Icheb pulled back from her and looked into her momentarily distraught and fearful face just before she masked any emotion from him. "Seven, I've only just begun my first year, I won't even be going into space for trial missions until halfway through my second year… You have nothing to worry about…" He explained, confused as to why she was suddenly so anxious about him.

"I wasn't talking about the ship I was talking about here, on Earth!" Seven exclaimed, on the brink of tears, before she clawed back some self control. "I'm sorry I…"

"I've been completely accepted here Seven, more than I believed possible…" Icheb told her emphatically. "You don't like my career choice?" he asked unhappily.

"Of course I do…" Seven said softly, upset with herself and her irrational fears. "No one could be prouder of a person than I am of you." She summoned up a real smile from somewhere and he relaxed again. "Anyway, I'll contact you as soon as I get to Vulcan…" She moved on hastily and Icheb, bless his heart, allowed it.

"I would expect it." He replied. Their goodbyes were heartfelt but as she left Icheb couldn't shake of his unease and making a hasty decision, left the Academy at a run.

Chakotay was dimly aware of his fingers drumming on his desk as she fought to concentrate on writing his newest thesis. He never got back to it as the receptionist's voice echoed through the comm. system. "Mr Kotay, there's someone here to see you, he says he's one of your Voyager crewmates…"

Intrigued, he glanced at the door. "Send him up then, oh and Felicia, _please_ will you call me Chakotay?"

"Yes sir." She replied, just as a rather frazzled Icheb appeared in his doorway.

Surprised but happy to see him, Chakotay immediately rose out of his chair. "Icheb, long time no see! How's the Academy treating you?"

Icheb's hands twisted nervously as he stepped further into the room. "Fine, Commander." He replied quietly.

"Is something bothering you?" asked Chakotay in concern, Icheb was normally so unflappable.

"Bother is perhaps an inappropriate word, I have nothing substantial on which to base my concern…" He paused and began again, "Remember you asked me to keep an eye on Seven?"

"Yes…" Chakotay muttered, snatching up his jacket from the back of his chair as the younger man began to pace. "How about we go out and get some air?" He suggested. Icheb nodded and followed him out.

Meanwhile Janeway was trapped in an interview of a very different kind, with her ex-fiancé and his wife. "I know you weren't expecting to see me Kathryn, but for old times sake, I, we…" Mark glanced fondly at his wife beside him, his hand on her knee. "…just wanted to come and tell you how in awe we are at Voyager's story, you did amazingly…"

"Thank you Mark." Said Janeway, squeezing an insincere voice through tightly pursed lips.

"I know I never could have done it…" His wife, significantly younger than her, gushed with almost equal insincerity.

"Thank you…" She didn't add the woman name, she couldn't remember it and didn't want to.

"Penelope." She filled in, before familiarly touching Mark's arm, Janeway fought the urge to rip her slender hand into shreds. "Mark honey, I forgot the girls are out of school early today…"

"Oh, right of course!" He hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. "I still have a memory like a sieve Kathryn!" He laughed. "You really should come to dinner one night, meet Bridget and Nicole, they'd love to heard your stories…"

"I'll look into my schedule. Now, you don't want to be late picking them up." Their goodbyes washed over her seething head. Meeting the woman that had filled her place, more than adequately it seemed, and given him two daughters… Distractedly she called up Chakotay, wanting to remind herself of her victory in romance. Addressing his receptionist she asked, "Put me through to Chakotay please Felicia."

"I'm sorry Admiral, he just went out with one of your old Borg crewmates… Do you want to leave a message?" If possible Janeway's mood sank even deeper. No! What the hell was he doing out with Seven? "Admiral? Admiral?" Felicia questioned when she got no answer.

"No, no thank you." Janeway responded icily, switching the phone off abruptly.

"So Icheb, what happened to make you so upset? I know you'll miss her when she goes to Vulcan…" Chakotay finally began after ten minutes of walking round the courtyard with Icheb in total silence.

"It's not that Commander. She was offered a much better job there building Astrometrics labs, it starts in two days, and she's leaving tonight."

"Tonight!" Chakotay exclaimed. "That's a little sudden isn't it?"

Icheb sighed. "Precisely. Her behaviour has been erratic lately, unusually so, and today she just seems so…nervous, even with me…"

Chakotay squeezed his shoulder lightly. "Maybe she was just worried about how you'd react to her leaving…"

"Perhaps." Icheb conceded. "But she seemed more worried about _my_ safety, upset even."

Chakotay swallowed. He at least knew _part _of the reason for that but didn't think it was his place to tell Icheb something Seven had kept from him. After a few minutes of thought, he advised. "All we can do is be here for her Icheb, she's a grown woman, and if she wants to reach out to us she will." Icheb nodded in agreement despite sensing the Commander's dissatisfaction with his own words.

Chakotay walked into Kathryn's apartment to see empty wine and sprit bottles lying everywhere, a recording of her voice blaring in the background. "Hi…" He began in shocked apprehension as he saw her splayed out on the couch, half empty wine glass balanced precariously in her hand. "What the hell happened to you?"

"What happened to _me_?" She slurred sarcastically. "Where have you been? I've been calling you all night!"

"I was at work and I dropped Felicia off at her home before…"

"_Don't lie to me_!" She shrieked drunkenly. "I know that the little Borg slut is trying to take you away from me…just…just like that Penelope whore…"

"Who's Penelope? I don't know what you're talking about Kathryn, and the only Borg I saw today was Icheb wanting my advice about…something so I don't see what…" He protested, revolted by the venom flowing from her.

Kathryn's face drained white as his words sunk in and she scrambled over to where one of her Voyager logs was playing, only succeeding in falling over and drawing Chakotay's attention to the words, "Seven and Chakotay married! Part of me thinks she has no right to lie to them but it's wrong that Seven have him now that we're heading home! Chakotay with _her_, the Borg? How the hell…"

Kathryn cried out, "No!" and pounced on the console but Chakotay wrenched her back, ignoring her broken, drunken whispers as he replayed the log in full over and over, its content slowly sinking in.

Kathryn actually physically recoiled when Chakotay finally turned to face her, his face contorted with disbelieving anger and disgust. "Is this true?" he ground out. No answer. "_IS THIS TRUE_?" He yelled, enraged by her silence.

Kathryn uttered a vindictive laugh, edged with fear. "So what if it is? It's _better_ this way! We were always meant to be… She's a drone, she's incapable of love, of anything…"

"_Don't talk about her_." He snarled as he stepped away from her. "This has nothing to do with Seven, and everything to do with us. You've manipulated me, dropped me like a discarded toy… You just couldn't stand the thought of me one day not being there when you came to play with me again could you? And yet, I probably still could've loved you but you've never trusted me, not seven years ago and not now. You let your jealousy get in the way and now the love is well and truly gone." After this quiet but seething speech he turned away from her ready to leave.

"Wait! _Wait_!" Kathryn howled hysterically, "I love you! These last four months…"

His hand tightened on the door handle. "These last four months have been a lie. Everything's been a lie Kathryn! Even what you're saying now." With that he walked out of the apartment and slammed the door until it was almost of its hinges, walking away without looking back.

**A/n: The end is rushed I know, but I just couldn't wait any longer to be shot of the J/C in this fic! I hope everybody was in character and that you're not disappointed. PLEASE REVIEW! **


	9. Pandora's Box

**A/n: Thanks to mad eye harry for giving me ideas for this chapter, I really appreciate it.**

The dull, heavy thud of his closing car door resounded in Chakotay's ears as he finally allowed himself to begin to process what had just happened, even as he fumblingly tried to find his car keys desperate to leave as he continually imagined Kathryn running out after him and he wasn't sure what he'd do if he _ever_ saw her again… His hands clenched into fists on his knees as frustration boiled up within him, she had lied to him, blatantly, and he had fallen for it hook, line and sinker. How could I have been so gullible? How was I ever so blind as to let her affect me? I should of known, I've seen glimpses of it, the malicious jealousy, the possessiveness, all the warning signs were there and I'd seen them over the past seven years, I'd let her go, I was moving on…

At that thought he gulped and slammed his fist into the steering wheel. He'd had the chance of another and he'd let her go, even as the feelings, he could openly acknowledge it now, had lingered on… Kathryn had been right about that much. In this timeline too, her jealousy may have been morally wrong, but not misplaced. His lips twitched bitterly at the irony in the story, if only he'd known four years ago that the scorpion's poisonous sting would come not from the former drone but from the very woman to whom he'd told that fable. She'd betrayed them both himself and Seven, laughed in the face of their loyalty, and now… As he reached the peak of his mental confusion and pain his shaking fingers wrapped triumphantly around the key and through he was dimly aware that he was in no fit condition to drive, he revved the engine anyway and set his mind, calm now, on the destination where he knew his future lay ahead of him.

The car slowed smoothly to a halt but he didn't get out as his eyes focused on the dimly lit apartment block, the fear and tension was paralysing yet the place still was not as desolately sinister as the last time he'd stopped here with that traumatised ghost of a passenger. Again, despite the revelations of tonight, or maybe because of them, that drive back here from the hospital still disturbed him more than anything, he didn't think he'd ever be able to think of that scene in her doorway without a shudder of foreboding. Had she known about them? Is that why she had called him, because she knew they were connected? He shook his head in dismissal of his own thoughts, if the Admiral had told Seven something on Voyager, and he couldn't put such a cruelty past the woman who had caused all this grief for all three involved, she wouldn't have opened that bottle again by contacting him. If you'd been brave and stayed with her, she wouldn't have faced any of this alone… His conscience reminded him, bringing pangs of guilt bubbling to the surface to such a degree that he jumped abruptly out the car and ran to her doorway, just to eradicate these thoughts from his mind. He rammed his hand into the door so hard the shock reverberated up his whole arm. "Seven!" Silence. "Seven, I _have _to talk to you…" Still nothing and he peered anxiously through the small window. The apartment was in complete darkness, he couldn't even make out the constant greenish glow of her regeneration unit. Vulcan… She was going to Vulcan, _tonight_! It's too late. This realisation hit him like a hammer and he sank against the door. After a few minutes of standing like that, breathing hard, dark, defeatist thoughts began to run through his head again. What exactly was I going to say anyway? Hi Seven, I've just found out we were married in an alternate timeline and because I discovered tonight that the woman I gave you up for is a lying bitch I'd really like for us to go on a second date… God, even if she'd been there he still would have ended up with this door slammed in his face…

Seven sighed as the small commuter ship's engines began to throb under her feet, she was on her way. She felt tears suddenly burn at the rims of her eyes once again; she'd expected more…relief with her departure. Maybe Tuvok had been right and she couldn't just leave things behind… Distracting herself by once again running through the short inventory of her belongings, only the voice of the ship's Captain brought her back to reality. "We're now out of Earth's atmosphere folks and will be going to warp imminently, look out of the viewports for a last glance at what Earth's first astronauts called "the big blue marble". There's no sign of any spacial storms so we should arrive on Vulcan at approximately 0105 hours…" The announcement continued on but Seven's eyes were unwillingly fixed on that beautiful blue swirl of cloud and sea, her mind transported from when she'd first seen it, during happy Mess Hall celebrations even she had thrown herself into with little effort…

"Miss?" An elderly woman tapped her on the shoulder, extending a handkerchief out to her. "Amazing sight, isn't it?" Seven nodded mutely, dabbing at the tears she hadn't registered flowing down her cheeks.

"So…" Tom began awkwardly as he turned over another burger on his garden barbeque, "You're really off to Peru in two days are you?" He asked Chakotay, who was sitting trying to act relaxed in a nearby chair, able to feel everyone's eyes on him.

"Yes Tom, I am. That's why you're holding this party, for me going away isn't it?" He replied listlessly.

Some of the other guests in the Paris' sunny garden, mainly Harry, B'Elanna and the Doctor, exchanged apprehensive looks, while Tuvok just studied his former First Officer in silence, occasionally answering one of Icheb's eager questions on Starfleet. Finally B'Elanna seemed to lose patience, not that that was particularly hard for her to do, and stood up abruptly. "Fine, I'll ask!" she said to no one in particular before nervously approaching Chakotay. "Chakotay, I'm, we're all…worried that you're rushing off too quickly after…" She paused and swallowed to wet her dry mouth. "I don't know what the argument was about but I think you'll regret it if you don't at least try to patch it up with her…"

Chakotay had been expecting this to some extent and therefore could reply without much resentment. "Listen, I know you all respect the Admiral and I'm not going to wreck that or my privacy by telling you any details but I know that regretting _her_ is the last thing I'm going to be doing, okay?"

"But you held a candle for her for so long…" Harry muttered in stunned awe, before blushing as he caught several warning glares but to their surprise Chakotay answered that too, though in a much lower tone.

"Well, I never should have done that, if that's what you all believe I was doing. A past together certainly doesn't guarantee love in the present or future and frankly I wish I'd never opened that Pandora's Box."

"But…" Tom began but B'Elanna seeing the utter derision for the Admiral in his eyes and a brooding pain in his dark eyes had seen enough to lay the subject to rest and shot him a look which silenced him.

"I think Chakotay has expressed his feelings on the matter adequately enough to satisfy any one of us." Tuvok commented sharply.

"Yes, yes, of course." Spluttered Harry awkwardly before changing the subject completely, turning to Icheb, who had been rather confused by the whole previous conversation. "How's Seven Icheb?"

"She's fine I believe. She tells me that her work is fulfilling." Icheb replied quietly, not really wanting to talk about Seven in case his doubts over her became obvious.

"Oh yeah, she's developing Astrometrics systems there isn't she?" asked B'Elanna with interest, glad to move past Chakotay's broken relationship, although she knew it had rarely, if ever, made him happy, she didn't want it to cause a schism within Voyager's crew.

Icheb nodded and Tom smiled. "Starfleet could have had all that, if they'd backed down over her…heritage."

"Was that really the problem?" asked Harry anxiously.

"Come on Harry, you may worship her but not everyone does."

"She was just never willing to try new things…" The Doctor began irritably.

Chakotay, this whole conversation hitting a _very _raw nerve, suddenly spoke up, glaring at the Doctor. "And how would you know that Doctor? Did you ever even ask why she was unhappy?"

"Of course I did!" The Doctor retorted hotly. "But she's just stubborn and wouldn't talk…"

"So good riddance to her then?" Chakotay questioned sarcastically. The Doctor's mouth opened but no words came out and he glared at him before storming into the house.

"What did you do that for Chakotay?" Tom gasped. "You know he's…sensitive about Seven…"

"Well maybe he should stop being so _sensitive _about his own bruised ego and worry more about Seven." Chakotay responded coolly, strangely unperturbed though he knew he'd gone too far. He ran a stressed hand through his hair, "Look, I really need to go, thanks for having me anyway." He headed towards the gate.

"What about lunch?" Tom asked incredulously.

"Oh, I'm sure it would've tasted great Tom, don't worry." He replied distractedly before disappearing out into the street.

The walk back to the apartment, Seven's not his, was a brisk half an hour away from Tom and B'Elanna but he didn't care, he needed to think and recently that was where he did it. When he got there he was surprised to see the door open and immediately ran in. "Seven?" he called out loudly through the whole apartment.

"She's on Vulcan." Said an unknown female voice. "Who are you?" The speaker was an elderly but tall and sharp eyed woman.

"I'm…Chakotay, her…friend." He replied, staring at the woman, who pulled at his memory for some reason.

For a moment her lips twitched upwards but she didn't extend her hand to him as she introduced herself. "Irene Hansen, Annika's aunt. Can I help you?"

"Oh, you're Irene!" He exclaimed. "She talks about you. Do…do you know when she's coming back?"

Irene's face, which had momentarily warmed, hardened again. "No. If I had my way she'd never come back here, I can't believe they expected her to live in this hole…"

"Yeah, it's not very pleasant." He agreed quietly. "I really do need to speak to her…"

"Do you? That's a change. All the Starfleet people avoid her, even after some of their own thugs beat her to a pulp…"

"Wait! She…she told you it was members of _Starfleet _who attacked her?" Chakotay asked, feeling his throat begin to close over with guilt.

"Some cadets from the Academy. How did you even know…"

"I…I picked her up from the hospital…" He said shakily. "Why didn't she say anything?" he asked, his voice full of anguish. "It was bad enough that anyone would do that but…"

Irene put a motherly hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, it took me several days to get anything out of her, and…" A soft smile, saddened yet knowing, graced her features, "…I think there's been a lot of things she hasn't told you…" He wasn't sure what to make of that and his eyes told her so but she just smiled again. "I can give you her new address if you want, I have her phone number but she's a little unreliable with that…"

"An address would be great!" He enthused. As she wrote it down he murmured graciously, "Thank you."

She handed it to him slowly. "Just don't hurt her anymore, she's been through enough, don't you think?"

"I…I won't." He replied, although he already knew some of what he said would hurt her, he hoped it would be worth it, for them both, in the end.

**A/n: Please review even though this isn't the best of chapters. I promise the next one will be better.**


	10. Breaking Point

"Chakotay, are you really sure about this? Of course I don't know the circumstances but…"

Chakotay ran a hand through his hair and sighed as he met the eyes of Dr Gabriel Gutierrez, his new, or soon-to-be, boss at Lima University. "I know I'm putting you on the spot asking for leave before I even start the job, but I wouldn't be requesting it unless the circumstances really called for it…"

"Do you mind sharing?" Doctor Gutierrez asked carefully, "Has a family member passed on or…"

Chakotay slowly shook his head as he gulped; he'd been dreading explaining this ever since he'd spoken to Irene and resolved on a decision. "No, I have no close family but…" His voice trailed off for a second and Gutierrez saw his face visibly darken and his whole body tense up before he spoke again. "A…close friend of mine was attacked and I want to go check on her…" He swallowed the lump in his throat, thinking again how all of this could have been prevented. "She's not coping well, I'm worried that…"

Gutierrez cut him off, understanding but not wanting to hear anymore. "Look, I can give you two weeks compassionate leave, but if you need longer than that you'll need to wait until next term to start, okay?"

The relief that flooded through Chakotay was evident in his face as he smiled tiredly. "Two weeks is fine. I really appreciate this."

Gutierrez gave him a sympathetic look, "I know you do. I'll see you in two weeks." Chakotay nodded gratefully and after a quick goodbye pulled back from the phone, suitcase in one hand and a shuttle ticket in the other.

* * *

"Seven of Nine, which power couplings did you request be re-routed to your new lab?" The young Vulcan officer asked his superior, who it seemed was on a personal phone call.

Some people would have been annoyed at their lunch break being disrupted but Seven would have been more annoyed if they'd sat around waiting for her to return rather than working, as they had the last two days, so she turned to face the Vulcan after a quick apology to her Aunt Irene, who calmly excused her. "The power couplings from section B-42 Delta, did you not take notes at the briefing this morning?" Seven asked the Vulcan tersely.

The Vulcan inclined his head but otherwise remained expressionless as he said, "I apologise Ma'am, my notes appear not to have been comprehensive enough."

Seven raised an eyebrow, "Apparently not." She handed him a pad. "These are my instructions, give them to anyone who is unsure at the moment and I will be back to supervise within twenty minutes, is that understood?"

"Yes Ma'am." The Vulcan confirmed, rapidly taking leave of her.

Seven waited until her office doors had closed firmly behind him before turning back to the phone, "I'm sorry about that Aunt Irene."

Irene smiled, "Don't worry, you sound busy. I didn't realise you were already _building_ the Astrometrics labs."

Seven allowed pride to flutter across her face for a moment, "Yes, the Vulcans are on the whole an efficient species; we had the plans drawn up within ten days."

"That's wonderful Annika! Yet I must say that young Vulcan didn't seem very efficient to me."

Seven sighed, this experience had made her realise that managing people was a great deal hard and more complex than mastering technology. "Let's just say an adherence to logic doesn't always entail ingenuity or independence." Irene laughed knowingly and Seven smiled along with her. Changing the subject she asked, "How did clearing my apartment go? I'm sorry that you had to do it…"

Irene waved her concern away, "You hadn't exactly left it cluttered Annika! I was happy to do it, you had to get away and start that new job and I'm glad you did, you look much happier."

"I am." Seven admitted.

"Good…" Irene paused, her face creasing in a frown for a moment. "You haven't had any of the Voyager crew call or visit you recently have you?"

Seven looked at her aunt in bemusement but answered truthfully, "I called Naomi Wildman yesterday and Icheb two days before that but apart from that no one. Why?"

Irene lowered her eyes awkwardly, she really had hoped that Chakotay would reach out to her niece but obviously her hopes had come to nothing. "It doesn't really matter dear…" She was interrupted by Seven's phone indicating she had a call waiting.

Although intrigued by her aunt's abruptly cagey behaviour, Seven knew it would have to wait. "I'm sorry Aunt Irene but I have another call, please excuse me." A relieved Irene said a rushed goodbye and hung up, leaving Seven to see a less familiar face through the comm. line. The woman's Earth based police uniform paralysed her heart for a moment but thankfully her voice remained relatively controlled, "Can…can I help you?" she asked tightly.

The woman's smile was one of gentle, though professional, kindness. "I'm sorry to call you at work Seven but I'm calling to say there have been some developments in your case. I don't know if you remember me, I'm Detective Kerry Robson, victims' liaison officer with San Francisco Metro Police, we spoke at the hospital…"

Seven nodded hastily, desperately, even though she couldn't remember this woman at all. "Developments?" She asked brokenly, dazed at being confronted by this again.

"Yes, three arrests have been made so far, on the basis of the physical evidence. They had to submit DNA for their Academy physicals, just as we always thought they would…"

Seven's nails pierced the skin of her palms as she shifted forward in agitation. "So…so it's over? They won't…_ever_ do…" She stopped, ashamed of how weak and frightened her voice sounded.

"They're all in custody at the moment charged with various things, 1st and 2nd degree rape, first degree assault, inciting hatred… The bail hearing is tonight, I know you can't be there but perhaps someone could…"

Seven shook her head with painful vigour. "No. _No_." She had to take several deep breaths as the office spun around her upset and confused head. "Do…do you think…they'll get bail?"

Robson peered at her sympathetically. "With conclusive DNA evidence? I doubt it, but you have to keep being strong, Cadet…"

"I'd rather not know their names…" Seven choked out, struggling to keep her old twin enemies of flashback and panic at bay. "Can you call me at home…later?"

"Of course. We have a lot to discuss. Take care." She hung up and Seven lay back in her chair, her entire body shivering with shock and stifled sobs of agonised relief bursting from her throat. Arrested? She'd never really properly considered it, deemed it an irrelevance in her pain and grief but now it really hit her how much their freedom had weighed on her nerves, even on another planet… Suddenly her uncontrollable relief crashed into the solid wall of reality. Arrest meant trial, _proof_ and she alone would have to be the one to provide it…

* * *

An unknown number of hours later, she finally laid the pad of data she'd been trying, unsuccessfully, to divert her mind with and let her head come to rest on the cool glass surface of her desk, her exhausted brain soothed by the predictable and constant ticking of the clock in the corner. Suddenly her ears became aware of the swoosh of the door and she raised her head, expecting another of her Vulcan engineers, "I will return to work in a…" She stopped as her mind slowly registered who was before her, "Commander?"

Chakotay was more affected by the sight of her than he thought he would be, the way her pale face was flooded with blood at the sight of him for a moment before draining back to a chalky whiteness, her posture changing from an exhausted slump to an erect, defiantly defensive stance. "Hi Seven, I have a feeling you're working too much overtime, the place is almost empty." He kept tone was light, joking, in contrast to the heart twisting concern he was really experiencing.

Seven gasped momentarily, realising she had never returned from her lunch break and that it was almost 1800 hours. Blushing again as she struggled to collect her scattered nerves she replied, "I suppose I lost track of time, it was remiss of me…"

"Not at all. From what I can see you've done an amazing amount of work here in only a few weeks." He assured her, unable to let go of the safe ground meaningless small talk provided him with.

"Thank you." Seven responded, her legs shaking behind the desk as she stood up. She felt as if she were in a dream, he couldn't possibly be here… Finally, after a prolonged awkward silence, she gathered enough of her wits to ask, "What are you doing here?" Noting how he stiffened at the question she remarked quietly, "I…I thought you'd be in Peru right now…."

"Oh, that got delayed by a couple of weeks…I decided to take a break for a little while, see some more of the quadrant…" He floundered, not ready, while she was so obviously uptight, to bring up anything difficult.

"You…you came to visit me?" Seven asked shakily as she approached him.

Chakotay met her eyes firmly for a moment, "Yes I did." Seeing her avert her eyes and shift uneasily, he added, "I just came off the transport and wondered if you knew any good restaurants, commuter shuttle food is worse than Neelix's."

Seven let herself be taken in by his gentle tone, "I know some places, there's a Bolian restaurant two blocks west of here, I'll give you the address…"

"How about you show me yourself?" he suggested, hoping he wasn't pushing her too far. Seven glanced down at her crumpled clothes and he read her mind. "When you're ready, of course."

Seven smiled sheepishly, "My apartment is a fifteen minute walk…"

"Let's go then."

* * *

If the conversation that took place during the walk had occurred with anyone else, Seven probably would've enjoyed it. It was a long time since she'd had a prolonged conversation irrelevant to work or anything else the Vulcans found it logical to talk of, which wasn't much, but as it was the walk was torturous for them both, Chakotay trying not to get frustrated as his attempts to draw her out fell flat and Seven trying not to arouse his suspicions. When they finally reached her apartment and stepped in, Seven felt her barriers begin to crack under his constant worried gaze and her patience lapsed, "Why are you here Chakotay?" she asked sharply, keeping her back to him.

Chakotay swallowed hard but kept his voice level, "I told you, I…"

"I _know _what you told me and I _know_ you were being evasive." She said before whirling around to face him. "Be frank with me. Who asked you to check on me? The Admiral? The Doctor?"

The mention of Janeway in relation to this made him bristle. "_No_." He frowned at her in hurt and frustration. "Is it so impossible for you to believe that _I'm_ worried about you? That what happens between us is nothing to do with anyone else?"

Seven flinched and leaned against the kitchen countertop, her throat and lungs constricting with panic as the familiar feeling of entrapment suffocated her. "Don't…don't speak like that…"

"Why not?" He practically yelled before his voice became quiet, confused and anguished, "Why didn't feel able to tell me about the beating those cadets gave you?"

Seven felt her knees begin to buckle as his words, combined with all she'd heard that day, knocked any fight from her. "I…I couldn't…I…I can't…"

"Why…why not?" He asked again before her demeanour had silenced him and he came closer to her his eyes dark with shock and concern. "Seven…" He began in a whisper, reaching for her, but even as his hand touched her shoulder, her now tear washed gaze fixed on a far away point, as if she'd forgotten he was there.

"I…I was just walking…home, it was raining and a cadet asked me where the nearest hospital was… I re…rem…remember another grabbing me from behind and then I woke up in the street…I hurt…all over and I was sick and fainted again…" She paused, gulping for air like a victim of drowning as tears began to stream down her face. "They told what they did…the doctors…but I didn't believe…I still don't want to… A beating, I think I could've tolerated that…" Chakotay winced painfully at those words and found himself kneeling down beside her, suddenly wishing he hadn't brought this upon her. "…but when you came…I just couldn't ack…acknowledge that…that they also r…raped…" Her mind closed down completely as she uttered that last devastating word and she allowed hysterical, grieving, angry cries to rack her.

Chakotay was struck dumb, paralysed by his mind's refusal to accept something so horrific and heartbreaking. "No…" He whispered brokenly. "_No…_no…" Even as he verbally and mentally denied it, his tears didn't and silently he pulled the crushed woman tight against him and cried with her.

**A/n: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!**


	11. Sorrowful Questions

**A/n: 50 reviews! Thanks everyone! Please enjoy and review again.**

Neither of them would ever be sure how long they sat there, Seven curled into a ball in Chakotay's shaking but protective arms, crying out all the agony and loneliness of the past six weeks. Eventually part of her self awareness returned, even as tears continued their destructive flow down her cheeks she could now feel his tear soaked shirt against her face and his throat gulping continually as he bent over her, his chin resting gently on her bowed head. With a choked gasp of shame she pushed her herself back from him, shuffling away on her knees, face resolutely fixed on the floor, clenched hands shaking on her lap. Chakotay let her go, although he didn't want to, keeping his gaze riveted on her even as he saw her withdraw further, practically cowering from him. "I'm so sorry…" He murmured, hating how inadequate the words sounded but they seemed to go over Seven's head entirely.

"Why?" she croaked out in frustration, feeling his silence weigh on her as she finally met his sorrowful eyes pleadingly, "Why? I…I don't…understand…"

Chakotay reached over to her cautiously but when he found her hand he held it firmly, disturbed by how cold she felt. "I know you don't, it's not…fair…" He paused, fair, that sounded so paltry, as if he was consoling a child over a lost game. "I never want to be in a dark enough place to understand their motivation…"

Seven's teeth clamped down on her bloodless lips as a bitter sob rose in her throat. "They…they wanted to punish me…for my…crimes…with the Borg…"

Chakotay growled in outrage. "Don't give them that, _nothing_ that they did was justified! You're giving them too much power over you Seven, _no one_ deserves this, please tell me you know that…" His heart sank even further when she shook her head vigorously, avoiding eye contact with him once more. Gently but determinedly he lifted her chin up, even as she shook with suppressed tears. "I need you to _believe_ what I'm telling you Seven, please…"

Seven studied him for a moment, both desperate and frightened to absorb his words. "I…should've been able to fight them off… I was Borg, why didn't I…"

Chakotay was having trouble understanding her logic. "You were outnumbered…they had knives, they could have _killed_ you…"

"_I wish that they had_!" She cried out, "I would've rather died fighting but I let them…let…"

"Seven you're being too hard on yourself! This isn't your fault…"

"Even if it's not the result is the same! I…shouldn't even be feeling like this… The act was temporary; it should not be having this effect on me…" Seven felt sobs rack her as she choked out the Borg explanation for what happened, "It…it is…how humans work…without it we wouldn't exist… How it happened or who it was with should be…irr…irrelevant… Why…why isn't it?"

Chakotay observed her self torture with ever increasing horror. "Rape is not the same as…as normal relations whatever your Borg database defines it as! They violated you in every possible way; of course you're allowed to feel emotional about that! I know it hurts more than anything right now but I promise you that eventually it'll get easier and when someone loves you _properly_…"

"They…they…won't." Seven inhaled sharply as she cut him off. "I am…damaged now, no one would have…someone who…" She gasped and strangled a sob as he enveloped her in a hug, breathing hard with frustration.

"Don't you _dare_ say that!" He snapped passionately before calming down as she half collapsed down onto him, utterly silent. "Any man who judges you on this doesn't deserve any woman, let alone you, alright?"

Seven nodded weakly into his shoulder, she knew she wasn't speaking rationally. "I'm…sorry…"

"Don't worry about me." He told her firmly as he scanned the room and saw a couch against one wall. "When's the last time you had any sleep?" He asked, eyeing her pale, shadowed face suspiciously.

Seven uttered a sound between a laugh and a sob. "I…I don't know Commander."

"Right." He muttered, standing up and, taking almost all her weight, laid her carefully on the couch before covering her with a throw and ordering the Computer to shut the apartment's lights off. Seven's fear reasserted itself and she gasped out before Chakotay's hand once again tightened around her own. "I'm not going anywhere." He whispered reassuringly, pulling a chair next to the couch and sitting down. Seven stiffened for a moment before realising there was no way of convincing him to leave her and curled up against the cushions, letting her mind drift away from what she had just confronted.

Chakotay, as he sat letting his fingers run over the metal of her cybernetic hand, hoping against hope that the frozen, still figure beside him had actually allowed herself to sleep, finally began to process all that he'd heard, and what it meant. He knew now that he should've known, all the signs had been there and he'd abandoned her. The pain he'd witnessed at the hospital had only been the tip of the iceberg. God, if only… His mind stopped there as guilt overwhelmed him, if the timeline had been left alone, or if Kathryn hadn't misled him, he would've been there for Seven. He would've strangled those thugs, still would now if he ever set eyes on them, and comforted her much quicker, without the six weeks of isolation she'd had to endure. How could he possibly tell her about the Admiral now and risk breaking whatever fragile bond of trust they had? It was with these thoughts, and many more, that he fell into a light, unsettled sleep.

* * *

When his eyes fluttered open again his body tensed in confusion, until he saw Seven, sitting upright, face white and eyes horribly red rimmed but otherwise composed, watching him as she mechanically sipped from a glass of water. "Are you alright? I mean…" He began anxiously, unnerved by her stoic stare.

She lowered her head sheepishly for a second, "Yes…better than last night anyway." She gulped, unwilling to do what she knew must be done as soon as she'd felt emotions flood her when she saw him asleep beside her, still holding her hand. "Thank you."

He shook his head dismissively. "There's no need…"

"I believe there is." She told him firmly. "I will always…be grateful for the comfort and solace you've offered me but I believe I will be fine now." She breathed in to strengthen her resolve as he stared at her in disbelief, "You may go home to the Admiral now. You…must."

Chakotay sighed, his biggest fear coming true quicker than he'd expected. "I left the Admiral Seven." He told her candidly.

Seven felt like all the air had been momentarily been forced out of her lungs as she stared at him. "What do you mean? Why? You…you _love_ the Admiral…"

He shook his head regretfully. "No, no I don't. It was wrong of me to pretend for so long that I did."

Seven felt her breathing become more rapid and she stood up. "It's impossible…she told me that…"

Chakotay gripped her arm. "Whatever the future Admiral told you was a lie Seven. She lied to both of us… You and I were supposed to…"

Seven felt her rattled brain begin to shut down. "She got us back here, why would she lie?" She asked him sharply.

"I'll explain I promise but I don't love her Seven. It's you that I love…"

Seven flinched, feeling tears begin to prick at the sides of her eyes. "Why are you playing with my feelings like this? Some strange form of pity? You _chose_ the Admiral. Even if I do have feelings for you…" She stopped herself painfully and wrenched herself free from him.

Chakotay felt desperation and horror grip his heart. "Seven, I'm not telling you I have feelings for you out of pity! It's the truth! Please just let me explain…"

**A/n: Please review and tell me what you think! **


	12. A Sense of Relevance

"Seven, I'm not telling you I have feelings for you out of pity! It's the truth! Please just let me explain…" Chakotay trailed off when Seven kept her back to him, he could see her body shaking with emotion but she remained stubbornly silent. Cautiously he reached out for her arm again, "Please Seven, all I'm asking is that you listen to me."

Seven couldn't help but stiffen further at his tentative touch but the refusal she wanted to flow easily from her lips wouldn't come, the sincerity in his voice having shaken her more than she had thought possible. Hastily rubbing her damp eyes as an agitated sigh left her, she reluctantly turned to face him, he dropped her arm immediately and almost smiled in relief but Seven fought to keep her gaze cold and disbelieving as she said stoically, "Proceed."

He nodded with a level of fearful eagerness but upon looking at her had no idea how to start. "I…Where do you want me to start? With us or with the Admiral?" he asked tightly.

Seven shot him an agitated glare, stepping back from him defensively as she tried to make her views as clear as she could, given how little she understood of this situation, "If you have not fully discontinued your relationship with the Admiral, there is no _us_. I will not assist adultery, is that understood? So begin with _why _you think she lied!"

Chakotay sighed, why did Seven have to see everything in such black and white terms? Despite his forebodings, seeing her tense frown in his direction, arms folded tight across her chest, made him realise it was now or never, he wouldn't get a second hearing. "When you were recovering from the Borg Queen infiltrating your mind, I came down to the Cargo Bay to visit you and the Admiral was just leaving…"

Seven painfully pressed her lips together, vividly remembering her conversation with the Admiral, the conversation that had ruined her hopes and had such consequences for her new life on Earth… Pushing those thoughts back, she looked at him more levelly, allowing herself to perch nervously on the nearest chair as she said, "And what did your conversation concern?"

Chakotay's fists clenched at his sides. "I asked her why she was doing this, trying to change the timeline, she kept avoiding the question and I lost my temper a little…" He sighed bitterly in preparation for the next few words, "Then she said it was to save me, her _husband_…" His dry chuckle was so sarcastic and heavy with betrayal that Seven flinched and turned away from him but he continued anyway, although watched her reactions with concern, "That night I got really drunk and long story short we were together, it was…volatile from the start but I tried to make it work, at first at least…"

Seven flushed, her old loyalty to the Admiral flooding her with embarrassment and a sense of wrongdoing. "Commander, such details are private and not my concern." She reminded him sharply.

Chakotay bristled in exasperation. How was she supposed to understand why he loved her and not the Admiral if she refused to listen to, let alone believe, him? "They are your concern Seven, I want you to understand, so that there aren't any…uncertainties between us…." He tried to explain softly.

"A noble concept, but I don't believe the Admiral would relish you telling me such things." Seven retorted in a stiff, hollow tone.

"I don't give a damn what the Admiral thinks…" He snapped hotly.

"Well I do! You're asking me to disregard her love for you!" Seven told him shrilly.

"It wasn't love she felt for me!" He snarled, his eyes alight with anger. Suddenly he pulled out small data disk from his pocket and flung it onto Seven's small coffee table. "Run that in your computer." He muttered, ashamed of his loss of temper as she eyed him fearfully before finally closing her had around the disk and inserting it into her computer, falling deathly silent as Janeway's logs began to play.

* * *

Chakotay felt the familiar stomach churning sensations of betrayal and disbelief consume him as the thinks she has no right to lie to them but it's wrong that Seven have him now that we're heading home! Chakotay with _her_, the Borg? How the hell did I ever let that happen…" He shuddered as if coming out of a pool of ice water as Janeway's voice stopped abruptly, Seven's ghostly hand resting firmly on the pause button, her tears falling freely onto the back of her hand.

Realising that she was in shock, Chakotay squeezed her shoulder gently. "I know how you're feeling Seven…" He murmured unhappily.

Seven's eyes remained fixed on the screen. "I doubt it. It's impossible…" She whispered before turning to him with violent speed, "Tell me it's not true… It can't be!"

Chakotay held her tear ravaged, hurt gaze remorsefully. "She didn't deny it. We're never going to understand why…"

"She did it because she didn't think I was good enough for you…" Seven choked out.

Chakotay shook his head with frustrated vigour. "First of all _I_ alone decide that and second of all she nothing but a malicious and possessive bitch…"

Seven wasn't listening, absorbed in her own thoughts. "I relinquished you…I could have destroyed the conduit but I didn't, many decisions were wrong, hers, mine and yours…"

"Don't compare yourself with her…" Chakotay advised her anxiously.

Seven sighed at him tiredly, her eyes listless. "Chakotay, please don't expect me to adapt to all this immediately… "

Chakotay's warm hands closed tightly around her icy fingers and squeezed them. "I know, I'm sorry. The thing I _need_ you to believe is the fact that I love you…"

Seven swallowed, her head bowed. "That's the only thing I _want_ to believe…"

Chakotay stroked her cheek soothingly. "Thank God." He muttered in relief.

After several minutes of sitting like that in silence, Seven slowly removed his hand from her face and held it close. "The past, the future, it's all irrelevant… She is gone and we are here...together…" She trailed off and looked at him with intensely fearful, yet trusting, eyes as she whispered, "What are we supposed to do now?"

**A/n: This chapter is so short because it was REALLY hard to write! I hope it's not as rubbish as I think it is… Please review! The next chapter will hopefully be better.**


	13. Steps Forward and Back

**A/n: Thanks to lisac1965 (who updated "The Little Girl" on Sunday night :D), Sweetdeath04 and DestinChild for advising me about this story. xXTheGothicBumblebeeXx has started a brilliant C/7 fic called "The Borg with Butterfly Wings" and psychichusky has a new Icheb/Naomi story called "We Meet Again 20" which has some cute C/7 in it too! **

"What are we supposed to do now?" Seven whispered with fearful earnestness, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth she could see that Chakotay could no more give her the answer to that than she could as the same storm of emotion she was experiencing, hurt, anger, confusion, and fear, crossed his expressive features. His lips parted and for a brief moment she hoped he could answer her but he just squeezed her hand and looked at her with saddened, empathic eyes as he shook his head in silence. Seven returned the squeeze as she shot him an apologetic glance and rose onto her feet, it had been an unfair question to ask.

As she distractedly began to tidy the apartment, anything to keep her mind off what he'd told her, she noticed he was watching her, deep in thought, until he spoke out of the blue several minutes later, "We could get out of here." He suggested softly.

"What?" Seven asked in confusion but his meaning was clear as she followed his eyes around the tiny apartment, it _did_ feel unsettlingly confining, the bad memories so recently formed with the place made a chill run up her back and her muscles tense in anxiety. Turning back to him, she said, "Breakfast?"

Chakotay stood up hastily, his relief evident in his every movement. "Sure, let's go."

* * *

The café was thankfully only around the corner from Seven's apartment, neither thought they could've borne the silence of the two minute walk any longer, but it continued after they were seated and had made their orders, both of them pushing the Vulcan food, too bland for their palates, around their plates as they considered whether or not it was wise to break the verbal barrier that had built up between them. "At least it's better than Neelix's attempts." Chakotay muttered to her after ten minutes.

"Slightly." Seven replied quietly, if there had been a flicker of humour in her eyes Chakotay had been too late to see it and he sighed. In so many ways this was similar to their first date in the Mess Hall, which seemed like a lifetime ago now, but he was unsure if the relaxed ease in each other's company they'd experienced then would ever come back to them… He was jerked out of these thoughts by Seven's voice, "Why was your position at the university delayed?"

Surprised by the unexpected question, Chakotay met her eyes for the first time since they'd left the apartment. "Oh, well…" He swallowed, uncertain as to how she would take this, "It wasn't really delayed as such… I took some leave…"

Seven stiffened, trying and failing to hide her guilt. "On my account?"

"On _my_ account Seven, I couldn't leave things the way they were…" He shook his head as a small smile played at his lips, "It's not only you who feels the need to get away sometimes." He reminded her gently.

Seven let out the breath she had been unconsciously holding as she realised she believed what he was saying and her guilt retreated. "I know." She murmured, her gaze flickering down to her clenched hands in her lap for a moment before she met his eyes again, her own calm now. "Are you looking forward to teaching? I found teaching Icheb a bigger intellectual challenge than I was anticipating."

Chakotay smiled at how hard she was trying to engage him, when in truth she didn't need to do anything to hold the entirety of his attention. "Anybody would find keeping up with Icheb a challenge! I'm looking forward to it but they don't tell you when they offer you the job that you need to do your lesson plans months in advance and submit them for approval…"

The conversation continued in that vein for a little while, diversifying into several different strands as they slowly let their feelings for one and other break down whatever barriers existed between them piece by piece. Eventually, when they'd been sitting there for over an hour and a half, they were even engaged in a friendly argument about whether it was okay to have dessert after breakfast, "All I'm saying is that you can treat yourself whenever you want, a sugar boost for the workday ahead…" Chakotay told her with a teasing smile as she frowned at him disapprovingly.

"Be that as it may, it is not nutritionally advisable to indulge in such things so early in the day…" Seven began to counter stubbornly but stopped in her tracks as the clock in the centre of the square chimed nine. "I'm late for work…" She muttered, standing up abruptly and starting to pay the bill when Chakotay stopped her hand with his.

"You can't possibly expect yourself to go to work after a night like last night…" He began in concern.

"And what reason am I supposed to give for my absence?" Seven snapped, eyes flashing at him, but the bolt of anger left her almost as soon as it came and she rubbed her forehead tiredly. "I'm sorry, I…"

"It's okay." Chakotay replied quickly, knowing he'd overstepped the mark in trying to pull away her distraction. "I've been telling you so much about my work, I'd like to come and see yours…" He suggested carefully.

Seven flinched momentarily but quickly saw that there was nothing motivating him other than concern for her, and she certainly didn't want to be alone again, not yet. "Yes, if you wish." She gulped hard, "I'm having difficulty with my engineers, perhaps with your experience of command you could advise me in how to manage them more effectively…"

Chakotay chuckled as relief washed over him. "If my time on Voyager taught me anything, it was how to cooperate with people, including you." Seven smiled at the now hard to believe memory of the time when Chakotay and she had shared a strong mutual distrust of each other. She sighed, so much had changed in four years, much for the better and some for the worse.

* * *

"You're saying that this Maquis technique of B'Elanna's actually worked better?" Seven asked Chakotay as they entered her apartment again that night after a day at the shipyard.

"Sure did, but don't tell B'Elanna I said so…" Chakotay's answer was interrupted by the strident ring of Seven's phone and she went to answer it.

Chakotay saw a woman in an Earth police uniform appear on the screen and his blood went cold, his sense of foreboding compounded by how suddenly Seven's face turned ashen as the woman spoke, "Hello Seven, it's Kerry Robson here."

"Yes…" Seven acknowledged in a wavering tone, seeing Chakotay start to leave the room out of the corner of her eye, she felt tears form on her lashes and found herself shaking her head at him, her eyes so pleading that he broke his own rule of respecting privacy and remained in the room as she turned back to Robson. "Did they…get bail?" she asked shakily.

Robson smiled soothingly at her. "No, the DNA evidence and the…violent nature of the crime swayed the judge, they're all in custody until the trial date." Chakotay winced painfully, his hands clenching into fists as the red mist of anger descended on him. They? A whole _gang _of them had done that to her… A groan of unexpressed anger stopped in his throat when he saw how badly Seven was shaking.

"That's…good news. Do I need to…come back?" Seven asked, valiantly trying to keep her teeth from chattering.

"Not right now, you let us do our job and try to get on with your life, okay?" Robson advised gently. "I'll call you with the trial date when we get it. Goodbye."

"Goodbye." Seven replied in a choked whisper, rising to go to Chakotay as soon as the phone clicked off but collapsing back into the chair as her traitorous legs gave way.

Chakotay held his hand up to stop her moving and was at her side in an instant. "You…you didn't tell me they'd made arrests…" He said quietly, trying to keep his frustration with the whole situation out of his voice as he held her shivering form.

"Yesterday." Seven mumbled, tears rolling silently down her cheeks as she turned her face against his chest, taking several shaky breaths before abruptly pulling back. "It's late…you should go…"

"Seven, you can't expect me to just leave you like this…" He started in a deflated tone, this was like last night all over again!

She sighed again as she stood up, wringing her hands tightly until the skin turned white from lack of circulation, her eyes stoic yet shimmering with tears as she looked up at him. "The bedroom…I don't use it, you may stay there…if you wish." He exhaled in relief and nodded gratefully, but was stuck by another surprise as he felt her lips brush his cheek lightly. "Thank you Chakotay." She whispered as she hurriedly stepped away from him, wiping her damp face as she stepped resolutely into her alcove, cutting herself off from him entirely just as she'd begun to let him in.

**A/n: Please review. Chapter 6 of "Fragments" is up on the site now after that fault over the weekend, now it needs to work long enough for me to get this up!**


	14. Contemplation and Decisions

Seven restlessly pushed a strand of hair behind her hair as she walked nervously into the kitchen, feeling relief wash over her when she found it empty and pleasantly sun drenched, pausing by the small window and allowing her pale skin to soak in the warmth of Vulcan's morning sun. She sighed and rubbed her hand slowly over the dried tear tracks of the night before, casting a furtive glance at the unmoving door which she knew Chakotay slept behind. It felt like a lifetime since she'd allowed herself even the smallest pause for thought, to consider, and grieve over, what had happened to her. She had pushed herself to breaking point, beyond that even, only to be dragged to a stop by the one person she had hoped would never catch her, never discover what had happened to her, and yet he had been her saving grace in the end… She swallowed hard, no it wasn't over, there was still much to be desired, still so many unknown factors… Her knuckles turned white as she thought of the night before and her anger turned inward, why did she have such a tendency to give into her impulses where he was concerned? It hadn't been right to kiss him, even that admittedly chaste peck of gratitude could lead to eventualities which confused and worried her, what if she was too damaged to give him all he deserved? Even he could only be so patient…

These thoughts were interrupted by her own loudly growling stomach and she practically jumped in surprise, her appetite had abandoned her weeks ago and yet this morning here she was starving. Quickly scanning the kitchen, she listed her options in her mind and began to programme a replicator and set out her cooking utensils, before pausing and staring wide eyed at the bedroom door, perhaps she should wake him and ask him what he wanted? She walked shakily over to the door but before she'd raised her hand halfway to knock it fell back to her side, she didn't feel quite that brave yet.

* * *

Chakotay's eyes creaked painfully open, his head throbbing from an unsettled and anxious sleep. For a few seconds confusion reined as he struggled to remember why he was in the unfamiliar room but when his memory returned he bolted upright. "Oh God…" He groaned heavily, pressing his hand to his forehead as he was again hit by all the emotional turmoil of the day before. "Seven…" He started to call worriedly but stopped as a delicious smell merged with his senses and cautious hope replaced anxiety. If she's cooking she must be feeling a little better, he decided as he got out of bed and dressed hurriedly.

Neither his senses or his hopes had deceived him as he entered the kitchen to see Seven bent over a huge mixing bowl on the worktop, a first batch of pancakes already sizzling on the small stove and a relaxed, if obviously unconscious, smile on Seven's face as she remained oblivious to him, happily absorbed in her activity. He silently watched her for longer than he would admit, before finally murmuring at her back, "Good morning."

Seven's head whipped sharply around, almost dropping the spoon she was holding as a slight blush diffused her face, memories of the day before clouding her brain, before hurriedly turning back to the stove. "Good morning. I…I'm making pancakes…" She felt her cheeks begin to warm again as she saw him begin to smile, "But I can prepare you something else if you wish…"

"Pancakes are great." He reassured gently but cringed as his words created a gaping void in the conversation and he grasped desperately around for something to say. "Is it time to flip them yet?" He asked suddenly, referring to the pancakes and getting a surprised look from Seven. "It's just that my mother always said there was a special knack to it…" He explained in a clumsy rush, his tongue tripping over itself in embarrassment.

Seven couldn't stop her eyebrows from shooting up. "Did she teach you this…knack? She questioned.

Not sure whether she was teasing him or not, Chakotay chuckled sheepishly, "She tried at some point I suppose."

Seven stepped aside with a wave of her hand. "Be my guest." She said, feeling a smile creep across her face again as she saw his deer in a headlights expression.

"Uh…sure." He muttered in trepidation, nervously gripping the handle of the frying pan. "Okay…" He began, glancing at her curious face before seeing that the pancakes were burning and quickly jerking them into the air, lunging after them long after they'd hit the floor. Staring at the mess on the floor he felt a wide smile form on his lips as he became aware of Seven stifling surprisingly girlish laughter. "I guess I didn't inherit Mom's talent…" He conceded as he began to laugh himself.

Seven bit back more laughter, "No, no… You just need…more practice. Watch me." She took the pan from him, poured more batter onto the pan, waited for the right time and then skilfully tossed and caught them. "Now you try."

"Okay…" He agreed without much confidence, again taking the frying pan.

Seven shook her head, frowning. "No." She instructed, putting her hand over his to guide him before pulling back suddenly as her skin tingled and she flushed brightly at her presumption.

It took a few seconds for her actions to sink in with Chakotay and he gently took her hand and pulled her back towards him. "It's okay, I don't mind." He murmured firmly before adding in a lighter tone, "Show me. You don't want another mess on the floor do you?" Seven smiled nervously and the air cleared, both of them later enjoying a breakfast of delicious, if oddly shaped, pancakes together.

* * *

Their days fell into a routine, the awkwardness gradually falling away but they were both careful to take each day as it came; fragility was not a new thing to either of them. It was on a morning much like that first one, nearly two weeks into Chakotay's unexpected visit, that Seven finally felt comfortable enough to ask him something that had been bothering her. "Your leave from the University must almost be at an end?" she enquired with quiet sadness as they sat down at the table.

Chakotay gulped, he'd been dreading this subject coming up. "In a couple of days." He admitted quietly. Reading her shocked expression, he explained, "I'm not losing the job by staying here though, I can start next term…"

"You shouldn't have to!" She blurted out hotly, failing to keep the guilt ridden horror she was experiencing from her face. "You can't just put such a dream job off because you're concerned about…" She stopped abruptly, her cheeks flushed with agitation, her eyes flashing at him in frustration as she jumped emphatically to her feet.

Chakotay looked up at her as levelly as he could. "There are more important things in life Seven. I gave my life over to my work for too many years not to realise that now."

Seven felt her confidence in her anger at him begin to waver at the implacable conviction in his voice and fear began to replace it, for as much as she dreaded him leaving, she also didn't want to be selfish, in fact she prided herself in not being so. Her hands began to twist anxiously as she thought about solutions and her words came jerkily, "My work is concluding here, in fact the Vulcans are desperate to take full control, perhaps…" She gulped under his intense, even hopeful gaze, and took a deep breath, "Perhaps I could…try to get a trial position in Lima, do you think they'd allow me to…

"Yes!" Chakotay exclaimed passionately before forcing himself to calm down slightly as her expression became startled, "I'd…" He corrected himself for the sake of simplicity, "They'd love to have you, I'm sure of it."

**A/n: Not a very good chapter but I'm trying to ease myself back into this story after a long break. Please review and tell me what you think! :D**


	15. Tomorrow's Promise

**A/n: Thanks to xXTheGothicBumblebeeXx for putting up a new C/7 story called "Union". (It's a really sweet C/7 wedding one-shot! :D)**

"So, have you decided which position to go with yet?" Chakotay asked as he sat down beside Seven on one of the couches which littered the commuter ship's small observation deck, handing her a cup of Tarkaelian tea as he did so.

Seven grasped the hot mug gratefully in her hands, "Not yet…" She admitted shamefacedly as she took a long sip of the hot, soothing liquid.

Chakotay gave an astonished laugh. "You have to hurry up; they're waiting for an answer!" He peered at her anxiously, "You're not having second thoughts are you?"

Seven smiled up into his concerned dark eyes. "Not at all." She murmured seriously before breaking eye contact as she began to explain herself in a lighter tone, "Both faculties have their own individual merits, I am probably better qualified for Physics but your boss in Anthropology made a valid argument when he said I should lecture about the Borg…" She bit her lip, letting her voice trail off as he squeezed her hand supportively.

"It's what you're comfortable doing that matters Seven." He reminded her gently.

Seven glanced at him and sighed, "Physics it is then." She declared decisively, "I could always visit your department occasionally if my knowledge was required…"

"Well, you know I'll never object to that!" he joked, earning a light tap on the arm from Seven before his tone became serious once more, "I mean it Seven, I'm always going to be here for you."

Seven set down her cup and looped her arm around his, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know." She whispered quietly, "The university didn't mind that we wanted to share accommodation did they?"

Chakotay breathed a soft laugh over her head, "No, quite the opposite in fact. Apparently there's a housing shortage in Lima, they've already assigned us a two bedroom apartment just off the Parco Universidad."

Seven sighed in relief and buried her face slightly deeper into the folds of his shirt. "Good." She mumbled, really meaning it. He had been so sweet when she'd shyly admitted she was scared of living alone in a new city once again, immediately offering a spare room at his place. What Seven didn't know was that he'd been equally frightening of her being attacked again and had been intensely relieved to offer the arrangement, wherever it may lead them.

Several minutes passed in contented silence before Seven suddenly spoke again, "Do you think it's easier for them?"

Chakotay gave a start, not understanding until he followed her observing gaze to the small groups of Vulcans. "You mean the Vulcans? Why do you ask?"

Seven pursed her lips, unsure whether she should've voiced the thought. "They seem to believe that living by a strict code of logic makes their lives easier, do you think it does?"

Chakotay sighed, pondering deep in thought before answer, "I wouldn't know but…" He swallowed and glanced down at her, "A set out code doesn't stop bad things happening to them, it just changes the way they cope, and since some things are never logical, I wouldn't exchange all the good emotions for a slightly easier ride on the bad ones, do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Yes, I believe so…" Seven murmured thoughtfully, staying silent again for a few more minutes before an idea came to her, "Chakotay, do you mind if I visit someone before we go on to Lima?"

"No, of course not. Do you mind me asking who?" he asked curiously.

"Irene Hansen."

Chakotay's face brightened, he had to thank Irene for her intervention, although he knew it was probable that Seven would never know of it. "I'd like to meet her…"

Seven smiled at him, pleased. "Then come, I'm sure she'd love to meet you."

* * *

They stood nervously together on Irene's weather-beaten porch as Seven rang the doorbell, the loud trill echoing through the house for a moment or two before the door was flung open by a happily surprised looking Irene. "Good Afternoon Aunt Irene." Seven greeted her warmly.

"Annika!" exclaimed Irene joyfully, hurriedly rubbing her hands on her apron before pulling her niece into a warm hug, which Seven affectionately returned, then pulling back to look into Seven's face, pressing her aging hands to her cheeks, "You're looking much better dearest." She told her softly, Chakotay could hear the relief in the woman's voice.

Seven nodded, "Yes, I feel much better. In fact, I'm coming back to Earth…" She paused and turned to Chakotay, blushing as she realised she was yet to introduce him, "Aunt Irene, this is Chakotay, the former First Officer of Voyager. He and I are going to be working together in Lima, Peru."

Irene smiled at him, more meaningfully than Seven could realise. "I've heard so much about you, it's a pleasure." She hugged Seven again, "Oh it's wonderful news Annika! We should celebrate, in fact I'm just finishing off one of my strawberry tarts, why don't you go and check on it for me while I change out of these old clothes?"

Seven's head bobbed obligingly, "Of course." She said, giving them both a small smile before disappearing inside the house.

Instead of following Seven, Irene stayed where she was, smiling gently at Chakotay. "I'm guessing it's starting to work out for the two of you then?"

"I think so." Chakotay replied gratefully, "Thank you so…"

Irene shook her head, "No need, it's all for the better. Come in and make yourself at home."

* * *

Soon enough they left a very satisfied Irene and journeyed on to Lima, where they were soon settled into their equally satisfying positions and their small colonial apartment on a quiet street with a carved wooden balcony. It was after three months in this new home that Seven returned alone one night, Chakotay not having been able to get out of one particular meeting and as such was running late. She was lost in thought, contemplating the day's events as she kicked off her painful heels and switched on some music before drifting out onto the balcony and sinking gratefully into a chair, tilting her head back as the dark sky, the stars glittering like diamonds on velvet, hung above her. A sigh shook her as she remembered the phone call, "The trial is set for April 4th…" That was what the prosecutor had said, only six weeks, could she really do it? She squeezed her eyes tight shut for a moment, she had to! She might be safe now but if they weren't convicted they could do this to others… Safe? Was she really safe here? "Seven? Are you alright honey?" Her eyes fluttered open to see Chakotay leaning on the balcony, staring at her in concern.

Her lips parted as the answer to her own question came to her. Yes, of course she was safe. She was with Chakotay, in their home as far away from all the bad memories as it was possible… "Yes… I'm fine now." She replied softly as he came to her and knelt down beside her, clasping her hands in his. Feeling a single tear slide down her as she looked at him, she said, "They…they set the trial for April 4th."

Chakotay took a sharp intake of breath, "Oh Seven…"

Without thinking she reached out and stroked his suddenly tense jaw, "Don't worry… This means it's almost over, that part of my life. I'm here now, with you."

Chakotay squeezed her hands before bending over and kissing them lightly, unsure of what to say. For a few minutes the music just wafted over them as they sat together in silence until Chakotay suddenly made a suggestion, "Dance with me."

Seven looked at him, perplexed. "Why?" she questioned softly.

He smiled. "Just because we can." Seven stifled her eyebrow rise and let him lead her back into the living room, where they began to move in time to the music.

Seven suddenly realised what they were doing and pulled back. "Wait, I can't dance, I'll…"

Chakotay gently curled her back in against him, "Don't worry, I won't let you dislocate my shoulder." He teased into her hair.

Seven gave an embarrassed laugh as she let herself lean on him. "Did the whole ship know about that incident?"

He shook his head. "Just me. Lieutenant Chapman had to explain his injury to change his duty shifts."

Seven smiled into his chest and began to let him lead her into the steps again as a new song started, a 20th Century ballad, "Will You Love Me Tomorrow?" They seemed to be there forever, but in fact it hadn't even been five minutes as the song drew to a close and they slowed to a halt, "Will you still love me tomorrow…" The female singer ended plaintively, another song started but they stayed were they stood.

"I'll…I'll still love you…" Seven choked out into his neck, surprised at being able to voice such an emotion and feeling fear sink in as he pulled her face from his chest and looked at her searchingly.

"I hope so because I'll…" He gulped hard when he saw his own nerves reflected in her face. "I'll always…" He was stopped from going any further as she kissed him in reply, the ability to speak stolen from him as he responded with more and more passion until somehow he realised dimly they were in his room and he forced himself to break it off before he was unable to stop himself. "Seven…we…we don't have to…" He whispered breathlessly.

Seven barely had to think before she pressed her hands to his face and gently kissed him again, "I trust you my love…"

* * *

Her heavy eyelashes fluttered open and for the few seconds that her eyes adjusted she was unsure where she was, until she caught Chakotay's dark eyes gazing at her and stiffened nervously, pulling the duvet tighter around herself. "Is…was everything okay?" she mumbled shyly, avoiding his gaze as a blush diffused her features.

He laughed softly in the dark and pulled her against him. "Yes. I was just watching you sleep sweetheart." He hugged her tightly, the muscles in his arms suddenly tense. "Are you feeling alright?"

This time it was her turn to laugh, smiling into his chest. "Yes." She lifted her head to his, kissing him again before they both drifted back to sleep.

**A/n: PLEASE REVIEW! :D I hope this was heartful and in character rather than trashy.**


	16. A Question of Socialisation

Seven slid her work satchel, filled to the brim with PADDs, off her shoulder and dumped it on one of the kitchen chairs before walking towards what she still referred to as Chakotay's bedroom, despite the fact that she'd been sharing it for more than a month now. As she walked through the door his back was to her as he sat at the phone, he had obviously just finished a phone call so Seven greeted him quietly, "Good evening."

He quickly twisted around in his chair, a warm smile lighting his features at the sight of her. "Hi." He replied, following her gaze to the phone and answering her unspoken question, "That was Harry; he's just been promoted to Lieutenant."

This news immediately forced the tiredness from Seven's brain and brought joy and enthusiasm to her face. "That is wonderful news! Starfleet's acknowledgement of his capabilities is long overdue."

Chakotay nodded in undisputed agreement. "He's delighted of course; he's even holding a party for all his family and old crewmates next week."

Seven's face tightened momentarily in pain but she summoned a weak smile from somewhere and said lightly, "You should go; you haven't seen any of your old friends since you went to Vulcan in search of me…"

Chakotay frowned at her slightly flippant tone. "I'll go if you come with me." He responded seriously.

"I doubt my presence will be missed." She replied stoically, "I will start making dinner, shall I?" She began to turn on her heel to leave but within seconds Chakotay was on his feet and gripping her forearm tightly to keep her in place.

"That's not true, you'd be welcome there, you know that." Seeing that familiar and exasperating expressionless mask settle on her face, he said in a lower tone, "If this is about the Admiral…"

"It's not." Seven interrupted icily before her tone became more uncertain, "But everyone will ask awkward questions…"

"If they do, we'll just tell them the truth!" Chakotay ground out through gritted teeth.

Seven sighed deeply; as if she'd given this more thought than she'd ever wanted to. "We cannot, it is not our place to besmirch the Admiral's good name, she did a great deal for the crew and I do not want to cause a rift."

"She doesn't deserve your loyalty Seven…" He muttered, the shadow which had come over his face telling her more than the words themselves.

"No…" Seven admitted in an exhausted whisper, "But I'm not going to be as vindictive as she was to me when she felt betrayed."

Chakotay swallowed his frustration and squeezed her hand. "I can understand that but that doesn't mean our relationship has to be a secret Seven." He sighed and wrapped his arm around her slim waist before gently kissing her cheek, "I'm never going to be ashamed of you, I want everyone in the galaxy to know that I love you…" He whispered softly in her ear.

Seven felt her barriers fall away, as they always did eventually when they were alone, and sighed in surrender as she let him kiss her, "After the trial, I'll go with you wherever you wish my love."

He stiffened protectively at the mention of the trial, his relief at the conclusion of the previous conversation practically forgotten. "Did you hear anything today?"

"The prosecutor is coming to discuss my testimony tomorrow." Seven admitted, unable to stop her mind from drifting back to that night for a moment before Chakotay's voice pulled her back to the present.

"Testimony? I thought they had enough physical evidence to leave you out of it!" Chakotay exclaimed, worry and anger at what he saw as unconcern by law enforcement making the words come out harsher than he had intended, regret flooding him as Seven flinched.

"It's a last resort; they have to plan for every eventuality and defence." She finally replied, clamping down on her bottom lip as she shakily repeated what the victim support liaison officer had told her, "Apparently, the five accused are denying everything, Starfleet has suspended them for now but they have family connections and they're excellent cadets, no criminal history…"

"I wouldn't give a damn who they were after what they did, not even if they were all Zephron Cochrane reincarnated!" Chakotay snapped hotly, "You shouldn't have to do this, it's not justice, it's not fair…"

Seven sighed tearfully, "If anything about this was remotely _fair_, none of it would've happened..."

Chakotay silently put one of his strong arms around her shoulder and let her lean on him heavily, he knew by painful experience when he should let a subject drop. "You said something about dinner?" he asked kindly.

"Yes…" Seven began, giving his cheek a kiss of unspoken gratitude. "What would you like?"

* * *

Chakotay rubbed his aching head with the back of his hand as he once again struggled to focus on the computer screen before him but his mind just couldn't focus on writing student reports that day, his mind was on Seven and the conversation he knew she must be having in her own office with the prosecutor from San Francisco. He couldn't choke back a growl of frustration as he dwelled on the situation, the phrase "innocent until proven guilty" had been a wonderful concept while sitting in an academy ethics class, but when he knew that it was going to be someone he loved going through hell to try and prove that guilt it seemed a lot less clear cut. He knew that rape cases often came down to "he said, she said" and although he was loathe to admit it, he was well aware of the fact that Seven's Borg heritage could affect her credibility, or even bring hostility from the jury, he was after all, the man who's tried to suck her into space when he'd first met her… A persistent knock at the door jerked him from these aggravating and depressing thoughts, "Come in!" he called, none too pleased about being disturbed, but as his head jerked up to see the two people who had entered the room, his mouth dropped open in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"That's a nice greeting Chakotay." Tom Paris said sarcastically, his smile widening as he realised how well the surprise had worked.

Chakotay rapidly closed his hanging mouth and tried to recollect himself, "Sorry." He muttered apologetically, before looking to B'Elanna for support, "Really, what are you doing here?"

"We came to see you of course, I wanted to call ahead but Tom thought that with your unsocial status recently we'd better surprise you." B'Elanna explained somewhat sheepishly as she saw how much the sight of them had unsettled her old friend, "I'm sorry, we'll go…"

Chakotay was now rapidly beginning to feel guilty. "No, don't go…" He hugged his friend warmly, "I'm always pleased to see both of you, it's just…unexpected that's all…"

"That was the idea!" Tom joked. "We thought…"

He was interrupted by another knock at the door, "Chakotay, I…" Seven's distraught voice froze in her throat as she realised who were in room with Chakotay, her tear-stained face paling even further as she was caught in their shocked, questioning looks.

**A/n: I don't really like this chapter but I'm still not feeling that great so please forgive me. PLEASE REVIEW to cheer me up! **


	17. A Lover's Testimonial

Seven stepped back so rapidly in an attempt to get out of Chakotay's guests' gazes that her back slammed painfully into the wall, making Tom and B'Elanna gape at her all the more. Tom finally recovered his voice enough to say in a surprised but friendly tone, "Chakotay didn't tell us you were visiting too Seven."

Seven somehow managed to keep her blushing to a minimum as she mumbled stiffly, "Act…Actually I work here…"

B'Elanna's eyebrows rose and she shot a cagey looking Chakotay a questioning glance which he pointedly ignored, his dark eyes fixed on Seven and filled with concern. "So..." She began awkwardly, "Your job with the Vulcans ended then?"

Seven allowed herself a single deep breath before replying stiltedly, "Yes, my work there concluded in a satisfactory fashion."

"That's good." Tom replied with genuine warmth despite the fact that he was utterly confused by the situation. "What do you do here?"

"I'm a Physics researcher and lecturer." Seven responded after a nervous pause.

Chakotay couldn't contain his concern any longer and asked abruptly, "What's wrong Seven?" B'Elanna noticed he was already halfway out his chair, as if debating whether to go to the former Borg, every muscle in his face taut with worry.

"Yeah…" Tom agreed as he looked at his former crewmate, the only time he'd seen her remotely so shaken was when he'd helped rescue her from the Borg Queen after that ill-fated mission to steal a transwarp conduit. "You look like you've seen a ghost or something…"

Seven jumped slightly as she realised what a sight she must look and hastily dragged the back of her human hand over her damp face. "Oh no, nothing like that. I…I got some unsettling news, that's all."

Tom doubted it was that simple, he certainly wouldn't have just described her as _unsettled_, more like traumatised, and Chakotay's response only intensified the suspicion, "Go rest in your office Seven and we'll talk…"

"No!" Seven retorted a little too vehemently. "I will leave you entertain your guests…"

"Don't leave on our account Seven." B'Elanna intervened, "We haven't seen you in a while, we can all catch up together…"

Cottoning on to his wife's idea, Tom interjected, "Yeah, great idea! I'm starved; either of you two know any good restaurants around here?"

Chakotay remained tight lipped, unsure how he was going to make the best of this situation when Seven decided for him, murmuring quietly, "Certainly, if you wish."

"We do wish." Tom replied in a light teasing tone, relieved when Seven weakly at his joke, and flung Chakotay a questioning look, "Let's go then, shall we?"

Trying to hide his sigh, Chakotay rose from behind his desk and pulled out a friendly smile from somewhere as, not without the other two's notice, he gently took Seven's hand in his. "Sure, let's go."

* * *

"Harry was really concerned you wouldn't come to the party, what with you being incommunicado recently, so I told him B'Elanna and I would come and check up on you." Tom explained cheerily to Chakotay as the four of them sat over a large platter of paella in the small Spanish themed restaurant Seven had chosen.

"He's really that into it?" Chakotay asked disbelievingly, "Harry never seemed like the type for a big party…"

B'Elanna laughed, "Actually his mother's organising it, she's apparently a little bit miffed that she's never properly met all of the crew who Harry talks so much about…"

Seven swallowed a mouthful of food that had caught in her throat as it slowly sunk in that it would be a huge offence to Harry, whose friendship she valued highly, if she didn't go to this event and the trapped feeling she'd been experiencing ever since her two former crewmates had reappeared was intensifying until she could not longer stand it and rose abruptly from the table, "If you'll excuse me." She muttered quickly, barely waiting for their nods of acquiescence before bolting towards the bathroom.

Chakotay barely glanced at his two friends before following her within seconds, pulling her into a quiet corner. "What had you so upset? What did the prosecutor say?"

Seven shook her head heavily, "I've recovered my composure Chakotay, it doesn't matter…" She saw from the dark glare he was shooting her that he was going to let it go and sighed deeply, "He was going through possible questions I may be asked by the defence and there were so many probing questions about the Collective and about Voyager…including when I made false accusations of assault that got an innocent man killed…"

Chakotay had to gulp hard, "Seven, that was years ago! You were barely out of the Collective back then…"

"It still happened." She whispered guiltily, before sighing weakly and putting on her most stoic face, "At least I am prepared now; it hit a nerve that's all…"

"I can believe it…" Chakotay murmured under his breath, lost in thought until Seven's hand brushed his arm.

"It seems we are obliged to go to San Francisco for Harry's party and the prosecutor wants me there several days before the trial starts…" She glanced over at Tom and B'Elanna, "So I suggest you tell them what you feel it is necessary to tell them and answer some questions I doubt I'll want to hear." With that said, she left his side and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving him to walk slowly back to the table alone.

Tom chewed his lips pensively and caught his wife's frown as Chakotay returned, finally sighing and saying in terse disbelief, "God Chakotay, you've picked one hell of a rebound."

"Seven of Nine is _not _a rebound!" Chakotay snarled, eyes flaring up with anger to such a degree that even B'Elanna, with her hot Klingon blood, drew back slightly.

B'Elanna took a tactful breath, "Okay Chakotay, but what exactly do you expect us to think? One minute you break up with the Admiral, whom we all believed was your eventual destiny on Voyager, and then you hole yourself up with a woman you at one point couldn't wait to get rid of? We're allowed to think you're acting a little erratic aren't we?"

"You're _allowed_ to think whatever you please but I'm going to tell you the truth, I truly love Seven and I intend to stay with her whatever you may believe about the Admiral… I admit that I judged both women badly and I regret that now more than you will ever know but I won't tolerate Seven being a target for pointless gossip, she's been through enough, do we understand each other?" Chakotay said with cool intensity.

"No." Tom replied with a shrug, "I don't understand any of it but I believe you. Can we leave it at that?"

Chakotay breathed out heavily in relief. "Yes, I'd like to leave it at that."

"Okay." B'Elanna agreed softly, knowing after many years of friendship and camaraderie when he was serious.

Seven chose that quiet moment to return to the table and sat down, feeling their burning gazes on her. "I believe we can attend Harry's party, will you inform him? I have to be in San Francisco anyway to attend a trial."

Tom's mouth dropped open, "What did you…"

"I was physically assaulted…" Seven swallowed hard, it was still difficult to admit even that much, "I must testify against my attackers."

B'Elanna's face drained of colour, now understanding part of the reasoning behind Chakotay's extreme protectiveness. "Some thugs beat you up Seven?" she asked, utterly aghast.

"Yes…" Seven shivered, glancing down at her lap where Chakotay's hand lay supportively over her clenched fist. "But I am recovering now."

Both Tom and B'Elanna found themselves smiling warmly at the new couple. "I can see that, thank Kahless." B'Elanna told her kindly.

**A/n: I hope this chapter is believable and in character, I'm not sure. PLEASE REVIEW!**


	18. The Party

**A/n: This chapter is dedicated to Mtwapa for putting up a new C/7 fic called "Flight of Fancy". I highly recommend it.**

Seven hastily smoothed the fine silk skirt of her knee length dress and glanced at herself self-consciously in the mirror. "Chakotay?" she called into their hotel room's en-suite where he was getting ready.

Chakotay obligingly stepped back into the room, his new pale blue shirt still unbuttoned at the collar as he fumbled with a silver pair of cufflinks. "Don't worry, we won't be late. I'm almost ready…"

Seven gave a small laugh, "I wasn't trying to rush you." She replied, lowering her head as a blush crept up her features, "I'd like your opinion…" She began shyly before lapsing into her trademark Borg terminology, which he knew was a sign of nerves. "Is my appearance adequate?"

"Adequate?" Chakotay echoed as his eyes took in her figure in her plum coloured halter dress with pleasure, "Let me see you…" He murmured softly, walking up to her and cupping her downward facing chin in his warm hands. Seven tilted her head up to look at him, smiling herself when she saw his dimpled grin. Pleased that he'd cheered her up, Chakotay allowed himself another swift appraisal of her, "Perfect." He concluded confidently before his voice dropped to a husky whisper and he sat down on the bed, "So perfect in fact, it's only fair that I have you to myself all night…"

Seven smirked at him affectionately as she perched on his lap, looping her pale arms firmly around his muscular neck and lightly nuzzling her face against his chest, "A tempting proposition…" she admitted ruefully.

"Then why not?" He asked lightly, "I _know_ Harry would understand my motivation…" He joked before feeling her tense up slightly in his arms and pressing his lips to her forehead, "We really don't have to go Seven." He said, his tone now completely serious.

Seven sighed, pulling back from their embrace but remaining in his lap as she met his eyes with equal seriousness, "But we _are_ going Chakotay. We decided that when we informed Tom and B'Elanna of our relationship."

Chakotay smiled fondly at her frankness. "I know." He agreed gently. "But I'm just warning you that this may not be easy, Tom and B'Elanna know us better than most people, even among the Voyager crew."

Seven reached around and gave his hand which was soothingly rubbing her back an affectionate squeeze before sliding off his lap and onto the bed beside him. "Chakotay…I know you only want to protect me from further pain but…" She inhaled a deep breath as his dark eyes studied her intently, "I don't want to develop a… What's the human phrase?" Her brow furrowed in thought for a moment, "A "chip on my shoulder" about everyone treating me badly because I was Borg…" She gulped and blinked back the layer of tears which formed over her eyes, "I'm tired of being afraid Chakotay."

Her words stunned Chakotay for a moment or two before he ran a hand through his hair and put an arm around her shoulders, their heads almost touching as he spoke. "Seven, if anyone's got a chip on their shoulder it's me, okay? You've been remarkably forgiving but the thought of the Admiral attending, pushing us, it just makes my blood boil…" He admitted shamefully.

"She hurt you…" Seven reminded him, "You loved her…"

Chakotay pulled her into his side, "My love is here with me now." He told her with remarkable matter-of-factness, then he sighed, "If I ever did love her, it was an unhealthy sort of love which has brought its share of pain and I don't regret its loss."

"But you don't want to see her?" Seven probed carefully.

"No." He replied honestly, "Why would I want to see someone who hurt both me and you so badly? But we have nothing to hide and I don't want to be afraid anymore either."

Seven smiled and stood up holding his hand. "Then let's go."

* * *

"Chakotay, Seven! You're here!" Harry exclaimed as he greeted them at the door into his party, casting a quick glance back at Tom, who smirked at him, obviously he'd been told the truth about his former crewmates newly discovered relationship.

"Hi Harry, congratulations!" Chakotay said with sincere warmth as he shook the younger man's hand.

"Thanks Commander." Harry replied appreciatively.

"I'm a civilian now remember Harry?" Chakotay teasingly reminded him.

"Yeah, right. Sorry…Chakotay, old habits die hard."

"Habits do not die Lieutenant." Seven pointed out from her place at Chakotay's side.

"It's a figure of…" Harry began to automatically explain but caught the teasing glint in her eye and laughed heartily. "It's great to see you Seven." He told her with earnest enthusiasm, "I'm glad you've decided you like Earth after all, we were all a little worried."

"Yes, I'll concede that it took me time to adapt…" Seven responded, "But I think it was worth the effort." She concluded, smiling at Chakotay as she spoke.

"I'm happy for you, both of you, really." Harry said, beaming at the pair, enjoying the feeling of easy camaraderie between them once more. "Nearly everyone's here, but the Admiral is fashionably late, as always." He told them, sweeping his arm to indicate the packed room, "Tom, B'Elanna and Miral, Icheb, the Wildmans, the Doctor, even Tuvok turned up…"

Seven fought the awkward sense of shame which overwhelmed at the mention of the Doctor, she still hadn't spoken to him since their conversation a couple of days after her rape and beating and the knowledge that she'd have to apologise weighted heavily on her. "The Doctor's here?" she asked pensively.

"Yeah…" Harry confirmed, scanning the room. "At least he was here… Do you want me to go and find him?"

Seven shook her head. "No, don't worry about it Harry."

Tom Paris suddenly appeared, balancing four drinks in his arms. "Why look for the Doctor when you can hang out with your favourite pilot?" He joked as Chakotay went to help him and he guided them away into the throng to a waiting B'Elanna, baby Miral in her arms.

* * *

Seven sat alone at the momentarily abandoned table, gently cuddling a nearly asleep Miral in her lap while B'Elanna prepared a cot for her in a side room and watching Chakotay giving a giggling Naomi a twirl around the dance floor, laughing as much as his young partner was. Seven smiled at the scene, then glanced down at the baby on her knee, Chakotay would be an exemplary father, I wonder if it would be possible… Her sweet thoughts were interrupted by a tense voice behind her, "Hello Seven."

Seven twisted around sharply in her chair, "Good…Good Evening Doctor."

The Doctor looked down at her in silence for a moment, his hands clasped tightly behind his back as he said in clipped tones, "How are you? You…haven't been in for a maintenance check in a while."

"I'm fine Doctor, but…" She dropped her head, "I apologise for not keeping you updated on my wellbeing."

Obviously mollified, the Doctor replied stiffly, "Apology accepted." He abruptly sat down across from her, "But that doesn't mean I'm not concerned!" He took a breath to calm himself, "First you blow me off, run away to Vulcan and then happily submit to being your infatuation's rebound when you return, how do you expect me to feel?"

Seven suppressed her insolent urge to shrug in reply and fixed her gaze on him, allowing her emotions to seep into them. "First of all, Chakotay is not my infatuation, I'm in love with him Doctor." She saw him flinch but also saw that he believed her words and pushed on, her voice wobbling slightly now as she moved onto less certain emotion ground than her feelings for Chakotay, "I'm sorry for how I spoke to you…I was very…upset at the time, I'd been attacked two days before… I was sacred and felt I had to leave…"

"_Attacked_?" The Doctor gasped in horror. "Why didn't you come to me?"

Seven gulped, regretting the content of this conversation. "I…I was too…ashamed Doctor…"

"Ashamed?" The Doctor repeated unhappily, "Seven, you can come to me with anything…"

"I know." Seven answered firmly before she felt that familiar panicky feeling close in on her again, "And I'm sorry, but…I really would rather not discuss it…"

The Doctor could hear the pain in her voice, it frightened him and suddenly he didn't want to know. "Okay, if that's want you want…" He agreed gently.

Another voice interjected, it's sound sending a chill of anxiety up Seven's spine, "When have you ever _not_ done what Seven wants Doctor?"

**A/n: I hope this was okay, PLEASE REVIEW! :D I'm going to Wales on Monday and won't be back until Wednesday night so there will be no updates from me until at least Thursday, sorry! (I'll try to write something tomorrow though!) If anybody puts up a C/7 fic while I'm away (PLEASE DO!) I promise I'll review when I get back! **


	19. Doubts and Interferences

"When have you ever _not_ done what Seven wants Doctor?" The Admiral questioned wryly as she reached the table, glinting eyes reflecting in the glass of synthehol she held tightly in one hand as a light laugh left her lips.

The Doctor flinched, hearing the innuendo but only cleared his throat slightly, believing her to be teasing him. Smiling with good humour, though it was a little strained at the corners of his mouth, he replied, "Every time I had to argue with her to get a maintenance check, or do her social lessons."

The Admiral flashed her white teeth his way before tilting her head towards Seven, "How could I forget? I'm guessing you don't miss those Seven?"

Seven couldn't bring herself to hold her gaze for more than a few seconds, breaking eye contact as soon as she mumbled tightly, "No Admiral, I can't say that I do." She smiled reassuringly at the Doctor as he swallowed hard, "Your memory is flawed Doctor, I believe our biggest arguments were about whether or not your singing voice was in tune."

The Doctor laughed heartily at that, "Lieutenant Paris called it "The Battle of the Tuning Fork" if I remember correctly!"

The Admiral laughed too, though it had a false ring to it in Seven's ears. "I must say, my life hasn't been the same without Tom's joke of the day."

"Did I hear my name?" Tom chuckled as he appeared at the Admiral's shoulder with Chakotay just behind him. Seven could see tension radiating from every pore as his eyes, struggling not to glower, took in the Admiral's presence, but if she was aware of his feelings she gave no indication.

His face changed to one of careful concern as his gaze moved on to her but it gave Seven little comfort, making her feel even more conspicuous and awkward. Quickly she answered Tom's question that still hung in the air, "The Admiral was saying that she regrets losing you as a colleague, your…provocative sense of humour in particular."

Tom smiled widely at the Admiral, "Is that true?" he asked, somewhat disbelievingly.

"I couldn't have put it better myself." The Admiral replied before lifting her drink high, "How about a toast to…good humour?" She smirked at Harry, "You'll be needing it now that you've got all those Ensigns under you Harry, they're a handful!"

"I'll take your word for it Admiral!" Harry answered jovially, "To good humour then!" he called out across the room.

"To good humour!" The Admiral answered, casting a meaningful glance at Chakotay over the lip of her glass as she said the words.

The vindictive thought that the Admiral believed that everything that had happened was a joke stung Seven, but she so longed for peace that she forced the consideration from her mind, allowing it to be replaced by a glimmer of hope, perhaps the Admiral had accepted them and regretted her actions? The thought had barely passed through her when she saw Chakotay flinch and repeat listlessly, "Good humour." Obviously he didn't believe in those hopes…

Her drifting thoughts were interrupted by the brush of fingertips on her shoulder and she jumped violently, flushing in guilt when she saw Harry apologetically step back from her. "I'm…I'm sorry Lieutenant, were you speaking to me?"

"Yeah, I was just wondering what you've been doing since you came back from Vulcan? Been getting lots of orders for Astrometric labs?"

"No, not exactly…" Seven began, looking into Harry's open and earnest face and deciding to ignore the Admiral's sensitivities, "I've actually been working in Lima for almost four months now, I'm a lecturer at the university there."

"That's great! I can imagine you being good at that Seven…" Harry began enthusiastically, but was interrupted by the Admiral's acrid question to Chakotay.

"You took that job then?" She asked him tightly, before narrowing her eyes at Seven, "I didn't realise they had so many vacancies."

"I always was going to take it Admiral." Chakotay reminded her coolly, "And when Seven offered to help them, they snapped her up, vacancy or not. I'd have thought you'd have known, with all your connections in academia."

She sniffed slightly in reply, "I don't like to stick my nose where it's not wanted…"

Chakotay managed to stop the bitter laugh leaving his throat but he couldn't hold back his impulsive retort, "That's a change."

Her face stiffened and Seven blanched in embarrassment as Harry shifted awkwardly, sensing the change in mood, and suggested, "Why don't we all sit down? The meal should be served any minute now."

Chakotay, already regretting having sunk to Janeway's level with his barbed comments, said with quiet civility as he offered Seven his arm, "Good idea Harry, I know I'm starved. Point us in the right direction."

* * *

The meal was a bigger ordeal for Seven than she would ever admit, even with the protective buffers of Chakotay on one side and Icheb on the other, her mind couldn't stop raking over her old fears. She felt suffocated by the friendly conversation, guilt plagued her that Chakotay couldn't relax among his old friends, so anxious was he about her and the Admiral's attempts to relentlessly inquire about every aspect of their lives together. After Chakotay had fended off another rather pointed question, the fifth in ten minutes, Harry seemed to see that it was time to step in and said, "It's not only Seven and Chakotay that have interesting lives Admiral, what have you been doing?"

"Oh…" Janeway began in a drawl, the copious amounts of synthehol she'd consumed beginning to take affect, "Just the normal duties of an Admiral, but next week I'm going to have to take on Admiral Klein's duties as well…"

Icheb's interest was piqued, "Admiral Klein? Why? He is well documented as the hardest worker in Starfleet, he never takes any leave."

Janeway sighed and played with her fork, "He doesn't have a choice in this leave, his son's on trial in an aggravated rape case next week."

Harry's loud gasp of realisation thankfully hid Seven's sharp intake of breath; the stark silver metal of her implants the only remaining colour her face possessed. "He has a son involved in that gang rape case? The one that has all the newspapers foaming at the mouth about falling Academy ethics?"

Chakotay gagged on the mouthful he'd been chewing and grabbed Seven's violently shaking hand under the table, suddenly hating himself for avoiding reading the holo-newspapers, but of course, even if Seven were anonymous, the trial of five Starfleet cadets would be big news in San Francisco. If he could have transported Seven out of the room at that moment he would have, but at that moment he was trapped listening to the Admiral talking gossip, "That's the one." Janeway confirmed, "But apparently the woman, whoever she is, has a chequered past with a grudge against Starfleet, though why she would pick on those boys to lie about I don't know, I had them in one of my classes last semester and they were exemplary students…"

"That does not mean they are innocent Admiral." Tuvok stated in a measured tone.

"Of course not." She replied in a deriding tone, "But it's very unfortunate, even if they're cleared, the bad publicity for Starfleet will effect good cadets like Icheb." She nodded towards the young cadet, who bowed his head awkwardly in acknowledge of the compliment, "It really is the last thing we need in the middle of a recruitment drive…"

Seven bolted out of her seat, the table spinning in front of her as she fought off rapidly encroaching panic and nausea, "Excuse me…" She choked out; twisting on her heels as she turned with the adrenaline fuelled agility of a cornered animal and headed off towards the bathroom and refuge.

Chakotay immediately jumped up to follow her, almost pushing his chair over in his rush, but the Admiral's icy, taunting tone stopped him in his tracks, "Even a lover needs _some_ privacy Chakotay, she's only gone to the power room." He wanted to tear her head off at that moment but everyone's inquiring stares and awkward laughs made him freeze and sink back into his chair with dread in his heart.

* * *

Somehow Seven's stumbling legs, crippled by panic driven hyperventilation, found their way into the bathroom and she collapsed against the sink, relieved by the momentary distraction the shock of the cold metal against her damp skin gave her. Get yourself together! Acting like this won't help! She raged at herself, but these thoughts only choked her more as tears bombarded the backs of her eyes and dizziness tried to coax her into the relief of unconscious. Humiliated anger filled her, had they known the whole time? Had her identity been reported in the papers? Were they all calling her a malicious liar, a traitor to Starfleet?

B'Elanna felt a cry of sympathy leave her throat as she entered the bathroom, for the sight that greeted her there proved her new fear. She saw now that the façade of a woman she'd known for over four years, coldly proud, distant to the point of unreachable, had broken irretrievably, like a shattered glass figurine Seven was transparently broken, crumpled over the sink, her normally lustrous hair limply shielding her face like a cloak of dying leaves hanging from a tree, choked sobs wrestled out from her shaking body. Her lips opened to say something, but nothing came. To her surprise Seven, who with one glance in the mirror at the empathic eyes staring at her knew she must say _something_, gasped out, "I…I didn't…lie…"

"I know that." B'Elanna replied quietly as she placed a hand on the other woman's quivering shoulder, "Come on, let's get out of here." Her lips twitched a sorrowful smile, "Chakotay will be out there worrying." She sighed, "No one else knows Seven, or else they'd all be lining up to give those scum a beating and you know it, the Voyager crew stick together."

Seven pulled in several reassuring gasps of air as B'Elanna's words sunk in and splashed water on her face as her self-control, relearned over these past months, kicked in and she walked slowly out into the hall.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Chakotay shuddered as the voice hit his ears and turned sharply around to face it.

"You know where I'm going Kathryn!" He hissed.

"Yes I do, but it's only going to cause you both more pain in the long run."

"Who the hell are _you_ to talk about causing us pain?" He spat at her.

"I did many things badly wrong with us Chakotay, and Seven too, but I'm right about this. She can only take so much. One of these days she'll decide she can't cope with the level of emotion you offer her and she's going to run, you'll just arrive one day and she's not going to be there."

Chakotay felt his blood run cold and was speechless for several seconds, "If you think I believe that Kathryn…"

"Chakotay…I'd like to leave now…" Chakotay whirled around to see a white faced Seven staring at him, her eyes dead and frozen as she looked past him to the Admiral.

* * *

Seven sank gratefully onto the hotel bed as soon as they entered, her back turned on Chakotay as she silently listened to him undressing and felt him climb in beside her, the wall of pent up emotion still there, impenetrable, between them. When she felt his arms reach out for her and then pull back she felt tears finally begin to flow, did he believe the Admiral's warning? No, she couldn't let him! Slowly she reached out behind her, found his hands and placed them on her hips. "Please, don't believe her…" She croaked out but was stopped by him pulling her body flush against his chest, his own tears wetting her skin.

**A/n: I hate this chapter! It's been annoying me for a whole month and I'm still unhappy with it! PLEASE stick with the story; I**_** will**_** make the next chapter better! Please review.**


	20. Hate and Fear

**A/n: Thanks to xXBrightsideBumblebeeXx (formerly xXTheGothicBumblebeeXx) for updating "The Borg with Butterfly Wings", Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay for updating "Far from Home" and Melanie-Baker for updating "Time Frame Clash". :D Flashbacks in this chapter are in **_italics_.

Seven's gaze thoughtfully travelled up from her plain black pumps to the long, uninspiring navy skirt and simple white blouse, she hoped this was what the prosecutor had meant when he'd advised her to wear something modest, trustworthy looking more like, she thought bitterly, so that the jurors don't think I was asking for it with my clothing… The schoolmarm outfit did nothing to disguise her implants though, painfully obvious as ever protruding from her pale skin. Slowly she ran one finger from the tip of her implant at the base of her ear to her collar bone, her other hand resting on the evidential photograph of her sliced open face. At that moment the healed skin was forgotten and she saw her bloodied face in the mirror and could feel her nerves screaming in pain. Closing her eyes, the images faded and she distractedly fingered the string of pearls fastened around her neck, her mother's pearls. Her Aunt Irene had given them to her the day before with the words, "They're always with you Annika, in sprit. Remember them and be as proud of what you've achieved as they would be."

"_Mama?" _

_Erin Hansen turned her face away from her dressing table's mirror to look at her three year old daughter standing in the doorway. "Yes baby?" she asked, opening her arms as the little girl ran over wordlessly, pulling her into her lap and turning back towards the mirror to continue fixing her hair._

"_Pretty…" Annika murmured as she ran her fingers over the pearls around her mother's neck._

"_They are aren't they?" Erin agreed softly as she stroked the girl's gold hair cascading, Rapunzel like, down her back. "When you're a big girl, I'll give you a necklace like this."_

_Annika's face brightened momentarily in hope before a serious expression settled on her face again. "Mama, where are you and Papa going today?"_

_Erin gulped slightly, "We're going in front of Starfleet Sciences Board of Governors…to resign."_

"_Why?" Annika pressed insistently. _

"_Well, because they won't let us study the Borg like they want to, so your Papa and I decided to do it without them."_

_Annika considered this, her arms tightening fearfully around her mother's waist, "Jacob told me everyone hates the Borg, because they ass…assimmi…"_

"_Assimilate." Erin corrected._

"_Ah…sim…mil…late…" Annika sounded out, "Because they assimilate people and then they're gone." She gave a strangled whimper and pressed her face into her mother's neck, "I don't want people to hate us too Mama…"_

_Erin hugged her tightly and smiled reassuringly into her small face, "No one could hate you my angel, ever." She sighed heavily, "People hate what they don't understand, that's why what we're doing is so important. When we get back we'll be able to teach people about the Borg. We may even be able to use our research to help drones go back to their families…" She trailed off and bit her lip, "Do you understand now Anni baby?"_

_Annika nodded vigorously, "Yes Mama. I'm going to make friends with a drone and then teach everyone to love them instead, they're people too!" she exclaimed with childish certainty._

_Erin smiled at her lovingly, "Yes sweetheart, I'm sure you will."_

Tears brimmed at her eyes as the memory, as clear as if it had happened yesterday, left her as quickly as it had come. Suddenly she longed for her mother's presence, to hug her and tell her she wasn't hated and never would be, but that was just it, she was. Instead of facing people's judgements and changing them with her story, she'd ignored the problem, and then it had boiled over. She'd seen the hate in their eyes as they did it, in a way that had been worse than the action itself, how could she expect any different from the judge and jury?

* * *

Chakotay exhaled heavily as he stepped out of the hotel room's bathroom, giving himself a shake to try and bring the relaxation the hot shower hadn't given him. Despite his efforts, he knew he wouldn't relax, not today anyway. His brow furrowed as he saw Seven sitting at the dressing table with her back to him, as pale and unmoving as a marble statute. He cleared his throat, wishing that they, she, didn't have to do this. He felt as if he was escorting her to her execution. "Are you almost ready to go love?" he asked as gently as he could. Seven gave a start at the sound of his voice and snatched up a hairbrush, dragging it through her hair as if she were determined to rip it out. "Seven?" he repeated unhappily.

She continued with the manic brushing, haunted by the night the same hair had been matted with blood and disturbingly finding she was enjoying the slight pain, it was something to focus on. Still Chakotay's anxious, empathic eyes drew hers, and she heard her own voice, shaky and broken, "I…I can't do this…"

Chakotay was on his knees beside her in an instant, putting his warm hands comfortingly on her knees, "You can Seven. I wish you didn't have to, but after this trial is over, they'll be gone and…" He stopped and pulled the hairbrush from her hands firmly, taking a tight hold of both her hands. "Listen to me, you're the strongest person I've ever known, you'll get through this." He bent and kissed the backs of her hands, "_We'll_ get through this…"

Seven gulped hard, running her fingers over the blue lines of his tattoo affectionately before sighing heavily, "I know, but maybe it doesn't matter about…them. Either way, I'm still going to have to live with…" Her voice cracked before growing more shrill, "Why should I ruin my reputation ever further, be humiliated, distrusted…"

"Because they _deserve _it!" Chakotay growled.

Seven shook her head, "It's…it's partly my fault…" She heard him about to reply but continued, "Maybe if my past with the Borg wasn't so hateful, they wouldn't have taken their rage out on me in…in that way… Maybe their families were assimilated, or their lovers or friends…"

Chakotay jerked upright, his voice a visceral snarl, "And if that _were_ the case, and instead of you their loved were freed, would they want _them _being attacked and violated in this way? No!" He twisted away from her, frustrated with her despite himself. "God Seven, we've been through this! You have nothing to feel guilty about, it's all their fault that you're feeling this way…"

Seven leaned forward and buried her face in her hands, failing to choke back her sobs. "They…they _hated_ me so much…I must have done something…I can't understand…"

Chakotay shook his head into her shoulder as he embraced her again, "No…no…" He pulled her back slightly to look at her, "You did nothing, no woman has _ever_ deserved that throughout the centuries. Those men, if it hadn't been you, it would've been the woman who turned down their chat up lines or just been standing alone and vulnerable, that evil is just in them."

Seven's silence as she clung to him told him somehow that she had taken in what he said. "I have to…stop them…if they'd really do it again then…" Tears streamed down her face as she pulled back from him, "I don't have a choice in this. Let's go."

**A/n: Please review. I hope the mother/daughter flashback was appropriate for this chapter. I hope it was in character as this was an upsetting chapter to write.**


	21. Epiphany

**A/n: Thank you so much to Sweetdeath04 and lisac1965 for advising me on this fic. I hope you both like this chapter! :D**

The San Francisco City Courthouse was an impressive building; a survivor of the famous 1906 earthquake in fact, a solid building of sombre grey stone with Classical style columns running along its frontage and a sweeping flight of stairs leading to a grand oak panelled door. It was a fragment of history among the ever-changing environment of the modern, space-faring, 24th Century city. Seven would have normally found this sense of continuity comforting. She should have drawn strength from the fact that justice had been upheld here for hundreds of years and that she was just another passing though it; yet now, as she stood at the bottom of those towering stairs, she felt weak, insignificant, even irrelevant. What was she doing here?

"Are you alright?" Chakotay's soft whisper beside her brought a shaft of light into her dark thoughts and she tried her best to smile bravely. She knew he'd see through it, as he could all her defences, but that knowledge didn't stop her from trying, composure and dignity were even more important to her now that ever before.

"Yes, I'm fine." She replied quietly before glancing back at the building, "It's…imposing, that's all." His face tensed in understanding as he nodded in agreement and silently offered her his hand. She sighed heavily before gratefully slipping her slightly shaky hand into his and grasping it tightly. "Let's go." She said firmly before slowly leading the way up the steps.

* * *

The reverberation of their footsteps on the marble floor of the courthouse's cavernous lobby created a booming echo which grated on Seven's frayed nerves almost as much as the curious, and often hostile, looks she received from the people also travelling through. She dreaded to think of how many of these people could be lawyers, potential jury members, or even judges. "Is that his office?" Chakotay asked as they reached a large door just at the start of the first corridor with the words "John Sharpe, Head District Attorney" embossed on a small plaque beside it.

"Yes." Seven confirmed as she politely rang the bell, swallowing nervously as she heard approaching footsteps behind the door. "He seems to be a capable man."

"I hope so." Chakotay muttered in frustration, then gave her a small, reassuring smile when he saw the pained expression on her face, "Don't worry, you're a good judge of character."

Seven had just started to nod in reply when Sharpe opened the door, smiling gently at her in welcome. He was a small man, at least three inches shorter than Seven, with a rotund figure, but Chakotay could see a steel in the man's pale green eyes that somehow assured him that Seven's case was in good hands. "Welcome Seven, please come in." Sharpe greeted her in a surprisingly powerful bass voice. Concern flashed across his face when Chakotay followed Seven into the cluttered office. "Perhaps you'd be more comfortable discussing this in private Seven…" He began carefully but stopped as Seven shook her head vigorously, her hand resting soothingly on Chakotay's arm, who had bristled defensively in spite of himself.

"I'd rather not. Chakotay has consented to be my "moral support" during this...difficult period." Seven informed him calmly.

"Ah…" Sharpe mused, now taking Chakotay's hand warmly; obviously Seven had told him of his role in her life. "Well, in these sorts of situations it's certainly a case of the more support the better." He commented, "Pleased to meet you Commander."

"I'm retired now. It's just Chakotay, thanks." Chakotay corrected him with a smile as he sat down beside Seven on one side of Sharpe's desk as the lawyer sat down at the other.

"Yes, this case has certainly tainted my view of the Academy and Starfleet itself." Sharpe muttered darkly as he arranged PADDs in front of him. "Now, I requested this meeting so that I could prepare you for the trial, to brief you on my case, and what I believe the defence's may be."

Chakotay gritted his teeth. "They can't possibly have a leg to stand on, there's DNA that proves it was them, as well as Seven's identification…"

Sharpe sighed as he looked at them both seriously, "The physical evidence is crucial yes, imperative even, but as the law stands it is the prosecution's responsibility to prove guilt without reasonable doubt, the defence only has to nurture that doubt."

"And you believe they will be able to do that." Seven stated resignedly, "My past makes my word untenable."

Chakotay snorted in angry disbelief. "Why should that matter? _You're _the victim here! It's the 24th Century for God's sake, surely it's moved past "he said, she said"!"

Sharpe's shoulders sagged sadly. "Not entirely unfortunately. There was always going to be an element of that, especially with the prejudices associated with Seven's unique personal history." He patted Seven's arm as he saw her stoicism waver. "I'm only telling you what the defence is going to argue, not that I believe or that I think anyone else will. Your account has always been honest, and people do believe the truth. I think we can convince the courtroom. I have the policeman who found you lined up as a witness…"

Seven frowned. "Policeman? I don't remember any policeman."

"He left before you regained consciousness, but he's very willing to testify about the, frankly horrendous, state he found you in." Seven winced painfully and Chakotay put a warm arm around her shoulders as Sharpe continued, "I've also contacted the doctors who treated you that night and they're also willing to…"

Seven paled and she jerked out of Chakotay's hold. "You can't ask them, I…I hurt Dr Fuller, he owes me nothing…"

"Doctors are trained for that sort of reaction Seven, they understood." Sharpe assured her kindly, but Seven was still deeply unsettled.

"Seven, what are you talking about? Of course the doctors don't blame you…" Chakotay murmured in anguish.

"I still reacted shamefully, hysterically." Seven whispered tearfully, "I lashed out at him when he told me, I…I think I even broke his nose…"

"You were traumatised; it's nothing to feel guilty about now. In fact, I'll need to focus on that a lot. I'll order another psychological evaluation to follow up the one done by the police." Sharpe said firmly.

"Haven't I been _evaluated_ enough?" Seven snapped bitterly before taking several deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself.

Sharpe tactfully ignored that outburst. "We're going to do all we can. I don't think we can do much more until I get the defence's list of witnesses tomorrow, so how about we call it a day for now and I'll contact you when we have more to discuss?"

"I think that would be best." Chakotay said tightly as he helped Seven stand.

"Good, I'll lead you out." Sharpe replied graciously.

* * *

"Thank you again for agreeing to do this Kathryn." Admiral Klein said gratefully to his colleague Admiral Janeway as they walked together into the courthouse.

"I'm happy to Henry. They're good boys, some of the most promising in my class. I can't honestly believe that they'd do something like that, and if this woman really does have a grudge against Starfleet as you say…"

"The lawyer says he has solid evidence that she does, and that her character is seriously suspect." Klein assured her, "I wouldn't defend my son otherwise, I have daughters."

Janeway's face darkened, "It is a horrible crime. I really hoped we'd gone past that…"

Klein nodded hurriedly. "Yes. Now the lawyer's office is just down here. All you have to do is sign a consent form to appear as a witness…"

"Of course…" Janeway began to reply but froze mid-step as she recognised the City D.A., accompanied by a grim faced Chakotay who had a protective arm around a desolate looking Seven. "Chakotay? Seven? What are you two doing…" Her question died on her lips as she felt Klein stiffen beside her and saw Chakotay give him a hate-filled glare. As she stared at Seven, who skittishly avoided her gaze, horrified nausea overwhelmed her. "I'm…I'm so sorry…" She choked out.

Seven coloured and turned away but Chakotay murmured, "I'm sure you are, now." He nodded to her before pulling Seven away back outside the building.

Janeway waited until Sharpe had also melted away out of sight before she whirled around to face Klein, lightning bolts of anger shooting from her eyes. "You _manipulated _me!"

"In what way? All I said is true, and you just agreed with me." He said coldly.

"I wouldn't have if I knew I'd be testifying against a member of my old crew! How could you ever expect me to…"

Shock ran through her as Klein laughed in her face. "Don't try and climb on a high horse now Kathryn, you've _never_ made a secret of your dislike for that Borg, you always go on about how the Maquis man jilted you for that "soulless Borg slut" I believe you once called her, why all the sudden remorse?"

Janeway flinched, humiliation filling her. Had she really made that much of a spectacle of herself? Had she really become so bitter that people thought she'd actually _defend_ Seven being raped? What had she let herself become? "No matter how…_angry_ I am, was, at Seven I would never wish that on her! You knew that, you also knew that if _I_, Seven's commanding officer for nearly all of her freed life, testified _against_ her, your son and his cronies would get off in a heartbeat. No one would even hear her out…"

"Kathryn, you're being too dramatic about this! What does a Borg care about one little encounter anyway? She's done worse to billions of others as a drone!" He smirked at her lewdly, "I bet she doesn't cry rape when that Maquis…"

A lump of rage built up in Janeway's throat. "Don't say another word, I can see where your son gets it from! You'll be joining him in disgrace when I report what you've just said to Starfleet Council."

"You wouldn't…" Klein ground out, seizing her arm, which she violently pulled free.

"I will, and if you ever go near another member of my crew to try to get them to help you, I'll just tell them what I now know and you'll be lucky to speak again, my crew are a family, and an extremely protective one." With that she walked away before her outrage overwhelmed her. Shame made her relieved that Seven and Chakotay were nowhere to be seen.

**A/n: PLEASE REVIEW! :D**


	22. Dignity

Chakotay couldn't help but tense fretfully as Seven left the protection of his side. She walked into their hotel room with barely a quiver in her stride; no one would've known there was anything amiss if they hadn't experienced the eerily silent journey back from the courthouse as Chakotay had. It wasn't as if he ever expected an emotional outpouring in public, but what he was witnessing now truly disturbed him. She had utterly withdrawn from him; with her robotic movements and lack of expression it was almost as if the Collective had reclaimed her. He'd hoped it would pass, knowing that she was probably processing every detail of her meeting with Sharpe while coping with their collision with Admiral Janeway, but as she ignored the comforts offered by the bed or an easy chair and headed straight for the phone, worry and morbid curiosity overwhelmed him. "Seven honey, what are you doing?" he asked as gently as he could, though in reality his tone was strained and exhausted, a realisation which made Seven flinch in guilt.

"I…" She started, staring down at the phone's control console to avoid looking him in the eye, and to give herself time to inject an illusion of strength into her voice, "I am contacting Voyager's former senior officers." She finally stated without elaborating further.

She heard Chakotay's footsteps echo around the room as he approached her. "Why?" he asked tersely, continuing without waiting for an answer, "I know the Admiral has been difficult recently, but I also know she wouldn't tell anyone…" It would make her look bad, he mentally added bitterly, "…and there's no way Klein could convince any of our friends to testify…"

Seven's fingers clenched around the edges of the console until her knuckles went white, but fought to hem in her emotions with a deep breath, "I know all that Chakotay." She assured him quietly, causing him to squeeze her shoulder fondly while sighing in relief, a relief she sensed wouldn't last long. "That is why I must inform them, it…it was…selfish…" Her throat caught painfully on the word, "…of me not to inform them of my circumstances."

Chakotay was suddenly on his knees beside where she sat, carefully pulling her hands away from the console and absently caressing them as he looked at her in frustrated confusion. "Seven, being private about what you've been through is not _selfish_! How can you say that? You were, and still are, trying to cope with something horrific…"

Seven's lips curled in a grimace and she couldn't stop a traumatised shudder running through her even as she stubbornly interrupted. "You may be right." She admitted, taking a steadying breath as her own reasoning behind her snap decision began to desert her, "But I will not have that luxury much longer, anonymity laws or not, it is inevitable that a trial involving one of only two liberated drones in the Alpha Quadrant will be scrutinised and my identity uncovered…" She swallowed hard as panic clamped around her chest until she was breathless.

Chakotay slipped his arm around her back and lowered her heaving, fear stiffened body into his arms, letting her press her face into the crook of his neck as he tried to soothe her, "Listen to me, you're safe now. The only thing that's going to be reported at that trial is a guilty verdict, nothing else."

"We…can't be sure of that." Seven whispered, "If they find out from another source, they…they won't understand why I…" She stifled a sob again, certainty creeping into her tone. "They will be hurt either way, as the Admiral was today, I can lessen that…"

"You don't owe the Admiral any consideration!" Chakotay replied sharply, causing Seven to sigh as he restrained his anger. She wasn't sure of the root issue which had so alienated Chakotay and his former commanding officer and lover, she had never asked and he had never fully confided, but she was astute enough to realise that it involved her, the Admiral's resentment of her was plain evidence of that. At that moment, however glad she was of his love for her, she was saddened that she seemed to be in the way of Chakotay's ability to forgive.

Suddenly Chakotay's grip tightened around her as he felt her shiver, a sigh of understanding leaving his lips. "They'll support you sweetheart, I know they won't judge when they understand." He assured her guiltily, "Telling our friends is very courageous, I want you to know that I admire that…" He kissed her gulping throat softly, "I just don't want to see you suffer anymore. To be honest, if I could I'd take you away from all this trauma and strain…"

Seven pulled back, meeting his loving, protective eyes with a ghost of a smile. "I know. That's one of the reasons I love you." She murmured, stroking his face affectionately as she did so, trying to smooth out the lines of worry which creased his features. She wasn't blind, she caught him watching her often, searching her for signs of the nervous breakdown she knew he feared. She had to be strong now, to keep their love burning, to give them any chance of a relatively unburdened life. "I'm going to have to testify anyway." She reminded him, retreating to her habit of Borg bluntness.

Chakotay kissed her then, sending a heat through her which melted the ice of fear, guilt and inadequacy enclosing her heart. "Yes." He agreed, regret filling his eyes as he looked at her intensely. He knew she'd find confiding in her comrades, her friends, more heartbreaking and even more traumatic than telling a room full of strangers, but he'd always in the back of his mind knew that one some level it was unavoidable and now it was time for him to help her face that. "Don't tell them over the phone." He advised firmly as he directed her away from the phone, "We'll meet them somewhere." That way they can at least…be there for you, okay?"

Seven nodded mechanically as he turned to the phone to arrange it himself, once again easing her burden. A single tear slid down her cheek. "I'd like that." She whispered brokenly.

**A/n: PLEASE REVIEW! :D I hope you're not angry that this chapter is so short after such a long wait for it. I was going to put her telling them and all their reactions in one chapter, but it just felt right to stop here. It **_**will**_** be updated soon, hopefully by the end of next week. I'm going to Wales for my formal university application interview and will be away between Sunday and Tuesday, but I'll try to at least update "The Loving Game" before I go.**


	23. Confessions of a Victim

**A/n: My new charger finally arrived so I'm back to writing once again. Thanks to NikkiB1973, whose lovely recent reviews for this story re-inspired me to continue this fic.**

The light, airy space that was Tom and B'Elanna's living room, normally associated with comfort and cheer by the former Voyager crew as the venue for many summer barbeques and other celebrations, now had a decidedly sombre, even oppressive atmosphere as the select group of former senior officers gathered within. Harry found himself wincing in dread as he looked around at his old friends, many of their faces taunt with the same inexplicable emotion as they waited. When he'd first been called by Tom asking to come over because Seven wanted to talk about something, he'd assumed that it was to announce the engagement he'd suspected ever since he'd seen her and Chakotay at his promotion party but now he knew that wasn't the case, everyone appeared too worried, dreading the unknown.

At that moment Chakotay joined them from the kitchen, his fists clenching briefly in indecision as he studied the faces around him. Should he thank them for coming? He gritted his teeth at the thought, no, they owed Seven their support, they didn't need thanks for that. A muffled sound came from the corner which he worriedly recognised as a distressed near sob, but his anxiety was rapidly replaced with a shot of hot anger as he realised it wasn't Seven, it was Kathryn Janeway. Her reddened, puffy eyes were fixed on him, burning with guilty anguish, while often flickering back to the kitchen where Seven still hung back. He couldn't honestly say that he wasn't glad the full weight of what she had set in motion had finally hit her, part of him still blamed her for putting Seven in such a vulnerable position although it was no bigger than his own guilt that he had also made few moves to protect her in those first traumatic months. Still, as his gaze shifted away from her hurriedly, he took some grim satisfaction from the fact that she also now carried that remorse with her. The sight of the Doctor actually made him more uneasy, the hologram had obviously wound himself up like a spring into a state of high agitation as he sat perched on the sofa and Chakotay sensed he'd need to contain the emotional blowout after Seven spoke. Tuvok was, as ever, a stoic picture of enforced calm and Chakotay let himself sink down on the sofa beside him as his body was suddenly overcome with a wave of nervous exhaustion.

"Thank…Thank you all for coming." Seven's tremulous but still clear voice brought everyone's wavering attention to her instantly as she stood just beyond the doorway into the kitchen with Tom and B'Elanna flanking her at either side. "I've come to believe that I owe all of you an explanation for my…erratic behaviour over the past months since our return." She continued hurriedly, stumbling uncharacteristically over her words in her haste to get them said and finished with.

Harry bent over in his seat, looking at her worriedly. "We don't _need _anything from you Seven, you're our friend." He told her in his kind, obliging way, a sentiment that was repeated by nods throughout the room, the Admiral's particularly emphatic. Chakotay hoped, for a tantalisingly brief moment, that Seven would believe this and not put herself through a brutal retelling but she immediately denied him by shaking her head at Harry resignedly.

"No Harry, I feel that I must." She assured him quietly, letting herself take a breath as she suddenly found Chakotay beside her, radiating love and concern even as he silently took her arm and guided her back to sit on a chair Tom had quickly provided behind her. She heaved in a deep, preparatory breath as she felt his warm hand reluctantly leave her and caught B'Elanna's empathic, pained glance as she left to join Tom and Chakotay sat back with Tuvok. "I suppose I had better start at the beginning…" She began, pushing insignificant stands of her already pinned back hair further behind her ear in a distracted reflex, "My first weeks on Earth could be described as difficult. I found adapting to my new surroundings trying…" She flushed as she met their waiting gazes, "As I'm sure you all did." She added hastily in an apologetic tone. "But I felt that I was being somewhat…persecuted by Starfleet at first..." She couldn't help but avoid the Admiral's strained, pleading eyes as she said this even though she hadn't been able to muster up much emotion to direct at the other woman recently. Any anger had been sapped away by her greater ordeal, and now the most that she could felt towards the woman was a diluted form of resigned pity. "Still, that faded when I was given my position in Stellar Cartography, at least I thought it had. I…thought…they were content to leave me alone."

The biting, and sudden, bitterness in her tone made the Doctor flinch. "What do you mean Seven? What on Earth happened?" he asked desperately, earning himself a glare from Chakotay and look of disapproval from everyone else for his lack of tact.

Seven had, of course, expected this question but actually hearing it knocked all of the air out of her as if she'd been hit with an instrument as blunt as the question. She was dimly aware of her hands gripping her knees tightly as the old panic momentarily consumed her and she was suddenly out of the chair, sending it flying backwards, and had her back pressed against the nearest wall which blocked her flight complex before she even knew what was happening. The sound of her own raspy breath as the only sound as they fixated on her, ignoring the toppled chair, and so she forced herself to speak again, letting her own eyes bore into Chakotay's. She was blind to anyone else at that moment, allowing herself the indulgence of imagining that they were alone. "One night I was…late leaving work." Her vision blurred as the memory of that desolate rain drenched night crashed down on her. "I…It was raining so I…I decided to take a…more efficient route home around the back of Starfleet Academy." She let her eyes close, although she was unaware of the tears beginning to flow silently out of them. "I heard a voice in the dark." She swallowed hard, "It was just an Ensign so I didn't even think to _be _defensive…" Something between a sickened laugh and a sob left her throat as anger, directed mainly at herself, bubbled within her. "But I should have been. There was suddenly a group, at…at least one was…drunk and others had knives…" Her whole chest shook with sobs she tried to suppress but in reality were more than audible to those around her.

"And then what happened Seven?" A soft, level voice penetrated her consciousness and she pulled her eyes open to see Tuvok's tenaciously steady eyes staring at her. She clung to his detachment as if it could be transmitted to her, clutched at the idea of it as if he were a rock in the storm of emotion that was drowning her.

Slowly, bravely to those around her, she opened her eyes more fully and stared blankly at those around her as she answered. "I woke up in the hospital, stabbed…slashed, beaten and…r…raped."

**A/n: PLEASE REVIEW! I'm sorry its so short again, it's very draining for me to write scenes like this.**


	24. Shockwaves

That final, tiny, whispered little word that held so much terrible significance for Seven hit the room's atmosphere with the obliterating effect of an atomic bomb. The silence was absolute, yet Seven was haunted by the unspoken words that in her mind bounced around the soundless room like grenades ready to explode. She had seen the emotions that had passed over her friends' faces in that instant where she'd somehow managed to hold their eyes to hers. First, that millisecond of confusion when they couldn't process the word, as if she were speaking an unknown, untranslatable language, then the total disbelief followed hurriedly by horror as if the two feelings were trying to win a race. She'd dropped her eyes then, not wanting to see their pity so evidently even through almost all the fibres of her being screamed for more sympathy and comfort, some form of relief, even for a moment. Still she kept her eyes trained on the floor, studying the intricacies of the magnolia carpet as her fingers dug ever deeper into the wall she was pressed against. The panic that had dominated her senses had barely retreated, it lurked nearby like a predator ready to pounce and her body still quaked with the aftershocks of that loss of self control. Her own heaving breaths, struggling to drag calm into her, were the only sounds that began to penetrate the quiet until she heard voices rush back into the vacuum shock had created.

"_Raped_?" Harry Kim echoed in an intense whisper that somehow filled the whole room, grimacing along with everyone else as he voiced the word. "No, that doesn't happen now!" His voice became a near shout to express his belief. "Not to Seven…"

Tuvok spoke up, the volume and level of his speech had the same constancy as always, but there was a new sharpness to it and his eyes had visibly darkened. "The advance of civilisation has not eradicated certain crimes Lieutenant." He stood up to his full height, "Even on Vulcan it is not unknown." He said resignedly with a glance at Seven.

Harry looked instantly horrified, "I didn't mean that I don't believe you Seven!" He explained in a devastated tone, "I just…" He paused lost for words and looking pleadingly up at Seven from where he sat as if seeking forgiveness, "I don't understand how someone could ever…" He stopped again, swallowing a thick lump in his throat and desperately searching around him for help.

Chakotay saw Seven nod in reply, blinking unseeingly as if she were coming out of a trance. "She knows that Harry." He murmured, saying what he knew Seven would have told her friend. "As for understanding, I for one never _want_ to understand that."

"God, no." Tom replied, exhaling heavily as if he'd been holding his breath and walking across the room to right the chair Seven had knocked over in her distressed state. The chair seemed to a weigh a ton as his frown deepened, his muscles suddenly leaden as anger twisted in his gut. He'd seen, in his younger days when he'd frequented a bar more frequently than a bed, how rough men could still get with women in this supposedly "enlightened" age. It had disgusted him then and he'd frequently intervened, but it felt worse now, when he had B'Elanna and Miral to think of, that such crimes continued to happen, much less to one of his closest friends.

"I…apologise Tom…" Seven whispered shakily as she watched Tom tidy up the mess she had created, making everyone stare at her and her ashamed blush redden further. "I lost control…panicked…"

Tom gently gripped her arm as he guided her back onto the chair. "Don't worry about it." He told her simply with as reassuring a smile as he could muster.

B'Elanna, whose heart had warmed at the sight of her husband's kindness and tact, felt the Doctor stiffen beside her. His face had hardened into a mask of denial and anger. "Doctor, don't…" She began to warn him sympathetically, well aware of his attachment to Seven, but he brushed her off.

"No…_no_…" He stuttered out in frustration, "It's impossible!" The certainty in this exclamation made Seven shrink back in her chair and those around her flinch, but the Doctor was ignorant of that. "You…" He started again, his voice cracking painfully as he was met with Seven's saddened, drained features, "No, you would have told us…and then we could have dealt with them…"

"She's told us all _now _Doctor." The Admiral intervened defensively, channelling the impatient glares those around Seven were sending the hologram.

The Doctor winced as if he'd been slapped, but those words made him come to a realisation. "That phone call, were you trying to tell me…"

"No." Seven answered with abrupt honesty, resting her face tiredly in her hands before facing him, "I wasn't…coping well and I wanted to be left alone." She admitted, again looking down at her lap awkwardly, "I have already apologised for my rudeness at that time Doctor."

"Yes, but I didn't know…" The Doctor croaked out painfully before hastily retreating to the back of the room, his face brooding but otherwise unreadable.

Harry anxiously spoke again to fill the awkward silence left by the Doctor. "Have they caught the guy Seven? When's the trial?"

Seven took a deep strengthening breath, "They…arrested three Starfleet cadets some months ago, a fourth just before they set the trial date. It starts tomorrow."

"Cadets?" Tom repeated, his face becoming pinched with anger as he paled even further.

"Yes, _cadets_." The Admiral replied darkly, almost spitting out the words. "Admiral Klein, the father of one of the defendants asked me to be a character witness before I knew who the victim was…" The bitterness she felt was evident as she caught the others' questioning glances, "Of course, I'm not going to do it…"

"_That_ goes without saying." B'Elanna agreed, arms crossed tightly over her chest, "I don't even see why Seven has to go to the damned trial. The forensic evidence should be enough…"

Seven felt herself begin to shake again, "According to the prosecutor, it falls to them to prove guilt, whatever the nature of the crime. I am part of that proof…" She had to close her eyes for a moment to suppress the sob that rose in her throat, "I…will _have_ to testify, but with my past being as it is…"

"You being assimilated has nothing to do with this, it's _irrelevant_." B'Elanna told her, fighting her own exasperation at the situation.

"The media will make it relevant!" Seven snapped, her eyes becoming glassy.

"I do not know what you are referring to Seven." Tuvok told her calmly as he watched the scene.

Chakotay breathed a pained sigh, "She's…" He corrected himself, "We're worried about her anonymity in all this."

Harry's brow instantly creased in worry, "A group of cadets and an ex-drone would be gold for the reporters…"

"There is no need for such speculation." Tuvok cut in, "I know, from my many years experience as part of the Starfleet and Federation justice systems, that no judge will allow your right to anonymity to be broken Seven, it would compromise every arrest and conviction for violent crimes and thus would be illogical."

Seven could only bring herself to nod gratefully as Tuvok's reassuring words sunk in and took some of the weight from her shoulders. She knew that events often didn't follow a logical path but she clung to his clear reasoning like a lifeline. She saw Chakotay heading back towards her with relief but the others seemed to pick up on her fear and closed tighter around her. "Listen Seven…" The Admiral began, "You'll be able to testify, you're telling the truth and you're strong. Just be brave about this for one last time and you don't have to think of it again."

"Yeah." Tom chipped in, "You've faced the Borg Queen before, you'll be able to put those perverts away for a long time."

Seven sighed quietly. She didn't think they fully understood the enormity of the effect of all this, but who did? She'd certainly think about it again, although it was her dearest hope that a guilty verdict would give her "closure" as the psychologist termed it. She felt glad, somehow, that they perhaps didn't completely understand the extreme task that lay ahead of her, it made their reassurances and support unconditional and as comforting as being wrapped up in a familiar warm blanket.

Chakotay stood slightly apart from the main group, watching. He knew Seven needed to take in what their friends were telling her alone and it made him feel good to see them forming a protective bubble around her, strengthening the support he'd already given her. He glanced over at the Doctor, who still sat brooding in misery, fingering with his mobile emitter as if he were tempted to deactivate himself, and couldn't restrain the resentment flaring up inside him. Impulsively, he grabbed the Doctor by the arm and dragged him into the adjoining room. "What are you doing Doctor?" he hissed angrily when they were definitely alone and out of earshot of the others.

Offence flashed across the Doctor's face. "What do you think I'm doing?" he gasped out in disbelief, "I'm thinking about Seven!"

Chakotay's lips twisted bitterly, "No, that's not what I see. You're feeling sorry for_ yourself_, absorbed in feeling hurt that she didn't tell you earlier and guilt that you couldn't do anything!"

The Doctor bristled violently, his eyes narrowing to slits. "How dare you…"

"Just stop it Doctor." Chakotay interrupted, "If you were _really_ thinking about Seven, you'd be in there right now helping her! She's not like you, she can't just deactivate herself, she has to cope with this!" He said sharply, voice low. "I'll tell you that right now you're making it harder for her…"

"I've _always_ helped Seven, unlike you!" The Doctor retorted, his rage building, "You ignored her until she told you this, didn't you?" He saw Chakotay wince and continued to dig in, "Who are you to talk about guilt? You could've dealt with those rapists if you'd wanted to!" He glared at Chakotay challengingly, "Revenge used to be your day job, you killed Cardassians without thinking about it, and yet you'd let Seven go through a trial…"

Chakotay had been controlling himself, he knew that it was pain that fuelled these irrational words, the Doctor he knew would never countenance vigilantism, but despite that knowledge something inside him snapped and he shoved the hologram hard against the wall, wildly wishing it could hurt him. "You have no _idea_ how much I wanted to beat those scum to a bloody pulp when she told me, yes, just like I did with Cardassians, how much I want to take the whole thing away from her, but I _can't_!" he growled in frustration, "And neither can you." He added quietly as he forced himself to calm down, "All we can do is help her right now, understood?"

The Doctor had blanched as Chakotay's response sunk in and he gave an ashamed nod as he headed back towards the other room. "I understand perfectly Commander, I'm sorry."

* * *

Seven lifted her head up from the large mug of hot chocolate, topped with a prodigious amount of whipped cream, she held cradled in her hands as Chakotay approached her on Tom and B'Elanna's couch long after the others had left. She caught his raised eyebrow at her choice of drink and smiled weakly, "The Doctor said today's ordeal lowered by blood glucose levels, B'Elanna made me this to rectify that."

She noted his tiny grimace at the mention of the Doctor, but his reply was warm. "It will _definitely _fix blood sugar, do you think I could have one too?"

"Over there." Seven indicated the replicator with a glance and watched as he went over, waiting until his back was to her until she spoke again, "The Doctor did not mean what he said to you, he was in a great deal of pain." She murmured quietly.

Chakotay swivelled sharply around to face her. "You heard all that?" he asked in anguish, "Oh honey…"

"I did not intend to of course, but with my enhanced hearing…" Seven explained, "It does not matter Chakotay, I just don't want you and the Doctor to suffer."

Chakotay sighed heavily as he returned to sit with her, leaving his hot chocolate behind. "I think we're okay." He assured her, "He did hit a nerve though." He grimaced again and ran a stressed hand through his hair repeatedly, "Honey, you understand that if those…men…" He was reluctant to use such a polite word, "…come near you again I'll…" He stopped as he met her eyes, "I wanted to kill them then and I still think about…"

"But you won't." Seven interrupted, "And I wouldn't want you to. You're not the same man who joined the Maquis and I don't want that person. What you did then, justified or not, still hurt and haunted you, I don't want to be the cause of further pain for you." She paused to take a deep breath, but her voice still cracked with tears, "What relevance does revenge have to me?" She choked out, "It doesn't change anything! It won't erase…" She stopped again, letting that painful point go unspoken, "I want justice to stop them doing it to others, but it doesn't really help _me._" Tears began to slide slowly down her face, "I need you as you are for that, nothing else…"

Chakotay stopped her with a soft kiss, able to taste the salt in her tears. "You have me, always, and now everyone else too sweetheart."

**A/n: This is actually longer than I anticipated, which is good after waiting three months for an update right? I hope you all like it, PLEASE REVIEW! Next up, the start of the trial…**


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